When a hit and run escalates into town hysteria, an ex-con and the man who accidentally killed his wife must work together when trapped in a house under siege by violent locals.

    Mentor Posted on November 6, 2019 in Thriller.
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      This is definitely getting more interesting.

      I think we need to be more specific about what event happens that directly leads to this scenario. The inciting incident needs to make us understand a) why the two men end up together in the first place and b) why the rest of the town are getting involved. All I’m wondering is why does the ex-con want to help the guy who killed his wife?

      I mentioned Assault on Precinct 13 in a previous version. That’s a great example of how a siege scenario can start.

      I really like the idea of the two men being enemies who have to work together. I think it’s a tried and tested idea but the circumstances need to be rock solid.

      Just as an idea… could the ex-con be a cop instead who was there to arrest this guy for a hit and run, but as he goes to leave he gets a call telling him that the person killed in the hit and run was his wife. Instead of a siege, it becomes a hostage situation? I know this is veering off a bit from your original idea quite a bit though.

      Summitry Answered on November 6, 2019.

      How about this…

      (it’s quite bulky though at 34 words I think? I’ll need to give it a shave.)

      An ex-con sets out to kill the man who years before accidentally killed his wife but becomes trapped in his house, fighting off violent locals, after a hit and run escalates into town hysteria.

      I’m keeping whether either of them committed the hit-and-run a mystery. Did he? Did he not? Was it him or the other one? Some conflict there.

      Though working together – they could betray each other at any minute. That kind of thing. The fact they have a history makes things even more intense.

       

      on November 6, 2019.
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        Hi Mike P.

        Cheers – yeah we’ll get there sooner or later ha.

        My friend pointed out some reality behind yesterday’s idea: a parent would definitely kill the person who murdered their son, a family member wouldn’t be so loyal or protective of a sex offender in the family.

        (I was interested by a character who is constantly hugging a cactus. You know – when your son is a serial killer, how do you stick by your son? How do you forgive that? – some very heavy themes there. The character was interesting – how does anyone become that loyal?) But yeah I digress…

        The events that lead up to this logline…

        Our ex-con is released from prison for manslaughter – beating and accidentally killing an aggressive drunk.

        Meanwhile, the man who killed his wife (manslaughter, car accident) is a recluse.

        Ex-con prepares to kill our recluse.

        This is made interesting by ex-con falling for his sister and the recluse getting a job at ex-con’s new job. Seeds of ex-cons dilemma are sown before the inciting incident…

        While this happens, a hit and run has occurred and people are pointing fingers at our recluse…

        This is the inciting incident.

        The PP1 has the ex-con, who growing to empathize with this recluse by getting to know him (and seeing his sister) defend the recluse from violent locals (who are pointing fingers.)

        From here, one act of violence leads to another…

        MP – our recluse shoots a violent local in self defence and yeah – things just get worse. 

        Mentor Answered on November 6, 2019.
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          I mentioned Assault on Precinct 13 in a previous version. That’s a great example of how a siege scenario can start.

          There’s a lot of potential in a trap/crucible. You know when people are trapped in a situation and can’t get out. There’s a slight ticking clock element – these violent locals will “have to nip it in the bud” before dawn or ASAP really.

          I really like the idea of the two men being enemies who have to work together. I think it’s a tried and tested idea but the circumstances need to be rock solid.

          Sure – there’s an odd couple element too. I want there to be huge friction between them. Huge doubt. Perhaps it was an accident he killed my wife? Perhaps I did kill his wife? Perhaps I could have done more to save her?

          Just as an idea… could the ex-con be a cop instead who was there to arrest this guy for a hit and run, but as he goes to leave he gets a call telling him that the person killed in the hit and run was his wife. Instead of a siege, it becomes a hostage situation? I know this is veering off a bit from your original idea quite a bit though.

          I was toying with the idea that the hit-and-run was the daughter of a local cop – who yeah, is corrupt and violent. His moron friends are corrupt and violent as well. You can see where I’m taking this.

          Finally, we’ll make the house isolated.

          But yeah – cheers for your thoughts.

           

          Mentor Answered on November 6, 2019.
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            Lastly – the opening hook is the logline. We’ve got the isolated house.

            A heavy rain storm (fuck it – why not?).

            We see our ex-con, shot gun in hand. He’s in the house. Barricaded windows and door.

            The locals and corrupt cops trying to get inside.

            The recluse is tied to a chair and beaten up, yet oddly quiet.

            The dilemma is laid out in simple terms.

            The corrupt cop yells out — “Why are you protecting the man who murdered your wife?”.

            The sister, who at this point has a closeness with the Ex-con, pleas that he’s innocent.

            Then these things happen:

            The locals begin chanting “KILL HIM. KILL HIM. KILL HIM”.

            The slight hint of a creepy smile grows on the recluse’s face.

            We see a corrupt cop sneak through the back and only the sister hears something from round back.

            While this happens, the door is thumping with people trying to get in…

            Then…

            We go back to a week before…

            Or something like that ha.

            Mentor Answered on November 6, 2019.
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