When a killer starts following the script seven actors deserted on a movie set must re-write their own ending before they die BEHIND THE SCENES.
deserthorrorLogliner
When a killer starts following the script seven actors deserted on a movie set must re-write their own ending before they die BEHIND THE SCENES.
Share
So is “BEHIND THE SCENES” supposed to be the title? Because?at first I thought you were saying that they must re-write their own endings before they die behind the scenes. But if it’s the title then maybe just insert it into a comment on the logline.
Anyway, It sounds interesting, even if I’m not completely sure the concept would work. But I think it would benefit if you somehow implied that their deaths were gruesome or whatever horror angle you’re looking for(personally if it were my idea I think I would go more comedic, and make the deaths laughable and ridiculous at the same time while they’re serious, and still make the killer a threat,). Maybe mention the type of movie? Something like: When a killer starts killing the actors of a chainsaw massacre movie according to the script…
One last thing, I’m not sure that the fact the location is deserted is important enough to be in the logline, it just adds more questions(Why is it deserted. why don’t they just leave, etc)
I still think the concept needs a main character specified in the logline. It really sounds like a generic ensemble slasher horror movie, but with a specific dramatic point of view and goal it could be made more interesting. Otherwise there are no personal stakes at hand and it could play out in a more particular set of circumstances.
There are very personal stakes: it’s a matter of ?life and death.
And It doesn’t bother me that it’s an ensemble piece.
The genre is stipulated as horror. ?And the convention of the genre is that everything starts out normal and then goes horribly weird and wrong. That’s what the audience expects to happen. ??
Maybe the director is making ?an improvised film; he has only a general outline of the story and the actors are supposed to make up scenes and dialogue as they go along. ?People start dying off. ?The dramatic question becomes: ?can they writing a version of the script that will stop the killing?
I suggest it might be more interesting if the concept of the film within the film is a comedy. ?So the actors must keep coming up with jokes and funny situations even as their predicament becomes grimmer and grimmer. ?They must “kill” in their scenes with ?comedy — or be killed.
fwiw
I kinda like it, I think could be a clever screenplay a movie about a unfinished movie that needs an ending.
My only concern would be the killer, as I worry when they are caught it might be a little Scooby Doo to reveal they are an actor that was fired from the role, but then just a ghostly entity following Te script may not work, but that’s just my niggle and spmethinv you may not have been doing anyways
I have to disagree with DPG on the main character aspect, be very careful with this particular choice. The mix of a comedy film shoot can help add a layer of interest and possibly make the film more marketable though so good point there.
Most good/successful horror movies have had a main character with in an ensemble cast and for a reason. The story has to be told from one dramatic point of view, or else it will get frazzled in all the slash action and lose its impact on the audience. The one driving force behind the film is the audience waiting to see?the main character stand victorious at the end, this is the obligatory scene.
The same premise can work and the same “hook” of killer follows the script can be used, but I strongly suggest devising a central character for the audience to follow. Even if the central character is not a cast member, could be the driver or director or writer.
What if the behind the scenes videogrepher keeps filming these murders, and the producer ends up wanting to release the behind the scenes movie instead? What if the videographer’s wife or husband is one of the actors?
The video guy or gal wants to catch the murderer and stop the killings, where as the producer wants them to keep on going to increase marketability.
There are many dramatic possibilities with this one premise, so may be worth exploring more options.
For most genres and most stories — like 95%+ — I subscribe to the rule that a plot, hence a logline, should specify a singular protagonist. ?Not just because it’s the established convention, but also because it makes dramatic sense.
[For most genres: ? The more I study the plots and wrestle with the loglines, the more I am persuaded that occasional exceptions may be found for romances and buddy stories. ? ?In some cases — but not all — it may be more accurate to frame a logline with dual protagonists because relationship is the core dynamic driving the plot.]
This story probably would be better focused and framed by having one clearly identified protagonist — a “first among equals”. ?But I can also imagine it playing out where the situation is exasperated because no one is really in charge; ?the film is an improvised ensemble effort and there is no “alpha” character to organize the others which is why they keep dying off.
?It all depends on the story the writer wants to tell and the under girding theme. ?And I’m not sure what his intentions are on those particulars.
fwiw.
Even more really great thoughts/advise. Thank you.
I do have a main protagonist. A once, almost scream queen who has aged and this is her come back opportunity. She begins as the mentor to the young, new comer.
I’ll have to try and work to see how to incorporate the logline and the protagonist. I focused on the plot because it was difficult to keep it pithy and connect the dots between the high concept and the protagonist. Might be worth a shot to see if it can be combined.
Again, much appreciated feedback.
To?the comment that the hero winning is the obligatory scene, I will say that there are cases where the antagonist deserves to win, because in a well crafted story the antagonist will have as much struggle as the hero, and perhaps either one deserves to win.
I have to say that I think an ensemble could be more interesting. Nir Shelter brings up the point that having one protagonist means that that person’s point of view drives the story, but if it a true ensemble, with no one main character, then the differing views the characters have could lead to interesting drama.
Take, for instance, immigration. If there were a main character, and they perhaps had views that lie close to what Trump’s are, then there would be a film solely about why there should be a wall, and how immigrants are taking jobs away from Americans(they aren’t.) Also, it would possibly antagonize any differing views. But if it’s an ensemble then all the views can be equally discussed and acknowledged, each character’s experiences leading up to their current ideas explored with the same care. Then again, maybe television would be better for this type of thing rather than a film’s limited time, not saying that it couldn’t be done, but 7 is perhaps too many for a film. (at least for a film that doesn’t have established characters such as sequel. or spin-off.)
Last thing, there’s also the fact that an ensemble is more likely to have a more diverse cast, with female and minority leads. Something like 4 women and 3 men, and of those 3 of women of color and 2 men of color.
Why “seven” actors. You must have thought about this special number. Are you refering to the seven deadly sins?
My take.
… The Original screenplay writer who was put aside murders them according to their special sin. One episode= one murder. Whatever they do, they can?t seem to write themselves out of their predicament. The last extra long ?episode (6th) only the lead character (protag) and his/her wingman/woman are left. The wingman?s sin is Pride, but now he has no pride left he/she sees the hidden deadly sins connected to the characters in the screenplay and the absurdity that the real actors acting them out on the set also have those deadly sins in their normal day to day life.. They re-write from “who” they are in their core, so whatever they write always contains their deadly sin and one by one they are massacred?- game over or…?
All very good points raised above.?Unfortunately, in my opinion, these points may severely mislead a writer working on a spec script.
Can a story with an ensemble cast work well in a horror movie? Yes, possibly.
Will it be harder to write a good script with an ensemble cast as appose?to a story with a single main character? Yes, definitely.
At no point has anyone suggested that a story with an ensemble cast can’t be interesting, and equally no one has suggested that a story with a main character can’t?be either. However, the VAST MAJORITY of stories in successful horror films that have been produced were told?from a dominant dramatic point of view belonging to a single character. The reasons for this have been discussed at length, so no need for further elaboration.
If an early career writer, or un produced writer to that matter, is writing a spec script, it would be highly recommended for them to offer up a story that increases the chances of success. Most producers won’t read a script by a mostly unknown writer and much less a risky script at that.
So I repeat one comment I made earlier in this thread, be very carful with this decision.