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beezeebeePenpusher
Posted: August 27, 20212021-08-27T23:13:35+10:00 2021-08-27T23:13:35+10:00In: Drama

An ethics prof and family man must prove his rehabilitation to a court-appointed psychiatrist when found not guilty of rape by reason of insanity and committed to a mental asylum.

Have Mercy, Cage

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2021-08-28T07:51:07+10:00Added an answer on August 28, 2021 at 7:51 am

      “After his rape conviction is deferred on the grounds of temporary insanity, a kind ethics professor must prove his rehabilitation to a depressed psychiatrist to avoid being committed.”

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      • Richiev Singularity
        2021-08-28T07:54:37+10:00Replied to answer on August 28, 2021 at 7:54 am

        Btw, I don’t think this character is going to get much sympathy from the audience due to the nature of the crime. Is there a different crime he could be convicted of?

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    2. harry Logliner
      2021-08-28T08:24:35+10:00Added an answer on August 28, 2021 at 8:24 am

      I see issues at both the logline and concept level here.

      1. The logline is wordy. I had to read it a couple of times to grasp the concept entirely.
      2. The description of the characters and the conflict it suggests – a “kind ethics professor” vs. a “depressed psychiatrist” – didn’t evoke images of a compelling story.
      3. When you use an adjective to describe the hero, you’re indicating a flaw in their behavior/POV of the world that will/may change by the end of the film. If this hero starts as “kind,” what are they arcing toward? If it’s a downward-spiral story, hint at that in the logline.
      4. Watching a film about a rapist striving for rehabilitation does not sound appealing unless you hint that self-sacrifice is involved in saving someone else.

      The example below is a different version of your concept, but it may inspire some thoughts on how you can up the drama in your logline.

      “An ethics professor sent to a mental institution for a rape he didn’t commit must overcome a vengeful psychiatrist to prove his innocence before temptation leads him to murder.”

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      • beezeebee Penpusher
        2021-08-28T18:04:32+10:00Replied to answer on August 28, 2021 at 6:04 pm

        Thanks harry for your honest feedback.

        1. I am aware of that. Still trying to make it work 🙂
        2. I am thinking about changing it to “a morally superior” ethics professor and I thought the depressive psychiatrist would make for some good irony, but you’re right, vengeful offers more conflict.
        3. morally superior works better here and is also more the kind of arc that I have in mind. He starts out thinking that he is in perfect control of his life and couldn’t possibly make a “mistake,” but learns that he’s flawed like the rest.
        4. What if a neurological condition was the reason for his transgression? Would that make it at least relatable to you?

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    3. beezeebee Penpusher
      2021-08-28T17:59:24+10:00Added an answer on August 28, 2021 at 5:59 pm

      Hi Richiev. Thanks for your honest feedback. You are pointing out an issue that I see as well. Somehow I am drawn to writing antiheroes, but making them likeable or at least relatable is always an issue and I see why a rapist wouldn’t get much of that. What crime do you think would get more sympathy while still putting him into the position of requiring mental rehab? I can’t really think of anything…murder isn’t really better. The initial idea came to me when I read about a man suffering from a brain tumour who began fantasising about raping his secretary. That is also the reason for the temporary insanity of my character. Not sure how to build this into the longline as it gets too complicated…

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      • Richiev Singularity
        2021-08-29T04:54:43+10:00Replied to answer on August 29, 2021 at 4:54 am

        I think the brain tumor aspect is important enough it should be mentioned in the logline.

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    4. NisVinten Logliner
      2021-08-29T18:49:29+10:00Added an answer on August 29, 2021 at 6:49 pm

      Spot on. I agree.

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    5. NisVinten Logliner
      2021-08-29T19:04:16+10:00Added an answer on August 29, 2021 at 7:04 pm

      I think the brain tumor is important here. If you read about the brain, it’s exciting how it works just like a computer with primal needs in one end and human restrictions in the frontal end. What happens with a deeply moral civilized man if you disable the part of the brain (frontal lopes) that make him a human? Thematically I think this is an exciting question. How close is human to animal. This off course requires a sidekick to the professor. One who can give us the sympathy with the professor. Perhaps consider the sidekick a main character and use the professor as the mental case explored. Nis, Denmark

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      • beezeebee Penpusher
        2021-08-29T20:13:35+10:00Replied to answer on August 29, 2021 at 8:13 pm

        Hi Nis. Thanks for your opinion. Great to see that someone else is interested in the human brain and finds the central dilemma posed in the logline interesting. I will consider your suggestion of having another main character. I thought about a lawyer friend of his who defends his case in court and tries to help him out of the asylum, but is ultimately conflicted by what the prof did and who he knows the prof to be / have been before the tumour.

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    6. Best Answer
      Odie Samurai
      2021-09-03T04:20:40+10:00Added an answer on September 3, 2021 at 4:20 am

      Leaning towards:
      “An ethics professor must prove his rehabilitation to the prosecution’s physiatrist when found not guilty of rape by reason of insanity”

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      • beezeebee Penpusher
        2021-09-03T16:25:51+10:00Replied to answer on September 3, 2021 at 4:25 pm

        Thanks, Odie! That slight change simplifies the logline a lot.

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