When a lab experiment goes horribly wrong, a clumsy scientist and his two pretty female assistants become the first highly intelligent zombies. Not willing to share their newly found powers with the knowledge hungry human elite that forcefully tries to get bitten, they barricade themselves in their research facility trying to find a cure for their own uncontrollable hunger and bad looks, before turning on themselves. But cure or no cure ? they still have to find a way out!

The second draft of the logline is better because it is shorter and easier to understand.

Regarding your comment “…problem is I want to tell so much more…” this is always the case with all writers and all stories but the question is; what does your audience want?
Your audience only wants to take in the bare minimum of information needed for them to have a meaningful experience, economy in your logline will reflect your understanding of this, therefore all the additional descriptions are redundant.

An inciting incident is important even though in this genre it holds less dramatic stakes (in zombie movies how the zombies come about is less important) it will give a clear starting point for the characters and the story rather than an arbitrary one. So the inciting incident from the first draft should be used in the second draft.

Comedy sounds like a good choice for the revers human goals of wanting to get bitten.

Hope this helps.