When a man wakes up in an unfamiliar bar with no memories, he is compelled to solve the mystery and reconsider his own relationship with death.
A couple of thoughts I hope are useful:
- Do you need ‘unfamiliar’ bar if he’s lost his memory?
- ‘his own relationship with death’ sounds like the emphasis is on ‘own’ – if so, why? Who else is there? And how does getting his memory back relate to his mortality?
>>>Consider his relationship with death?
Vague, needs clarity. Specifically, what does that mean in terms of what he must do?
And a plot is organized around one prime objective goal. Not two. Just one. A logline is about the struggle to achieve that one goal. All other goals are secondary and subordinate to the prime goal — and extraneous to a loglne.
So what is his singular primary goal: solve the mystery or “consider his relationship with death” (whatever that means)?
And does this refer to a movie already made? Because that’s what “examples” are for.