The Shawshank Redemption
When a reserved accountant is condemned, he needs fight the corrupt prison system to prove his innocene or serve a life sentence.
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Shawshank redemption. This one gave me some work.. not sure if I should identify the protagonist as innocent… comments are welcome as usual…
A worthy movie to write a logline for.
When a reserved accountant is wrongly given a life sentence for his wife’s murder, he must fight a corrupt prison system to stay alive while plotting his escape.
I left out “prove his innocence” because it’s a running joke in the movie that everyone is innocent — IOW:? no matter what they say, they’re all guilty.? He has no opportunity, no hope of proving his innocence until the young kid arrives — which is much later, deep into the? 2nd Act.? So initially it’s not a factor as an objective goal that motivates the plot.
On the other hand, (as we see in retrospect) he quickly, patiently goes to work on his escape plan (which takes years to execute).
A man not meant for prison must endure a corrupt warden and violent inmates as he works for years on a secret tunnel, making sure his friend will find him but not the authorities.
I think it?s about the relationship between the two men. Not how he got there.
Sometimes I forget that the logline is a tool for producers, not audience. Giving away he is actually plotting his escape? in that case makes more sense indeed…
>>>I think it?s about the relationship between the two men. Not how he got there.
Although the “B” story is? central to the film, loglines are about the “A” story.
This is not as personal as it can be. For instance, a “reserve accountant” works to distance myself from the MC somewhat. Now I admit, I may not know what a Reserve Accountant is, but reserve sounds secondary, and why mention that your MC is secondary?
I’ll take a shot:
After an accountant falls victim to a corrupt justice system, he must fight to prove his innocence or face a life sentence in a brutal prison.
I like “brutal” better than corrupt to describe the prison.? Or maybe “brutal and corrupt”.
But I don’t think he was the victim of a corrupt justice system. The judicial process failed but that doesn’t mean that the process was corrupt. The circumstantial evidence implicated him and he didn’t offer a vigorous defense.
And I stand by my earlier statement about “proving his innocence”.
I have no problems with “reserved” because what initially seems to be a character weakness turns out to be a character strength.? His? inclination to think before he acts, think before he speaks turns out to be a key to his success. He “picks” his way to freedom without making a rash move or statement that would blow his plan.
I can only identify one moment when he acts rashly:? he plays a record of Mozart’s? music over the prison? PA system — a defiant gesture at the system and the warden.? (A moment of emotional catharsis evoked by music that is fairly common in the midpoint sequence of film, I’ve noticed.)? ?It costs him 2 weeks in the cooler.? But at no time, in no way, does he do or say anything that would threaten to expose his escape plan.
I noticed you begin your loglines with “When a…”? I recommend you mix it up and try different things. Variety is king.