When a selfish store clerk finds himself in the middle-ages, he clumsily awakens an ancient evil in an effort to return home; in doing so, he finds himself fighting armies of un-dead to not only save himself but humanity.  

    Penpusher Posted on January 19, 2020 in Examples.

    My interpretation of Army of Darkness. Its a favorite of mine. Any feedback on how it can be done better is appreciated.

    on January 19, 2020.
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    3 Review(s)

      I like this, but I was wondering what the impact of the armies of the undead will have – as this is set in the middle ages, will the undead kill the future (as in Back to The Future)?

      Samurai Answered on January 19, 2020.

      The armies of the undead have a goal to get the Necronomicon in order to ensure that only the armies of darkness reign over the Earth.

      on January 20, 2020.

      I think it’s worthy of inclusion. The Necronomicon is the magical MacGuffin in this series – maybe try a version framed around this.

      on January 20, 2020.
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        I agree with Lempicka. I think it’s worth unpacking what the “ancient evil” wants to achieve so we understand what’s at stake. Why is humanity at risk?

        It’s pretty solid though, a little long, but I think that’s inevitable given the time-travel, fantasy elements. Good work. 

        Singularity Answered on January 20, 2020.

        Thank you!

        I will definitely revise it!

        on January 21, 2020.
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          Revision:

          • Unwittingly thrust into the middle ages, a selfish store clerk must retrieve the Necronomicon before the Army of Darkness to return home and save humanity.

          Full disclosure, I asked my English Major-Partner to help me with this. She can write a pitch.

          Penpusher Answered on January 21, 2020.
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