A newly promoted detective known as Ahiga is stationed in the unlikely place of Alaska with wary peers, questioning his motive. The young detective is assigned a case to investigate recent reports of deaths by unknown causes. The case is mysteriously dropped, challenging Ahiga’s foreign moral understanding, prompting him to investigate the scene of the crime against the will of his superiors. Upon arriving, finds a lead that trails him into a cultist group that attempt to kidnap him, killing the attackers in the process. Leading him into a village where he is punished for his proclaimed judgement and is immediately butchered by blinded townsfolk.
SimplethingPenpusher
When a series of unusual deaths occur in an uncharted region of Alaska, an aspiring detective must retain his lawful morality in a hidden barbaric world to seek those responsible.
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Mike Pedley
How can it be uncharted when people live there?
“Hidden barbaric world” – without reading the rest of your post, this would mean very little. Specificity is key in a logline. If he’s investigating a cult, tell us he’s investigating a cult or at least say something that heavily suggests that.
I would argue that the inciting incident isn’t the murders themselves, but when the detective learns of them or assigned to them. The murders could have happened before the opening credits.
I agree with savinh0 regarding “unusual”. Again, specificity is key. Ambiguity is where loglines go to die! The “unusual” way they’ve died might be the thing that encourages a producer to read more.
I would most definitely phrase this with a MPR:
An idealistic detective is assigned to a series of brutal ritualistic murders in a remote Alaskan town, but when the case is mysteriously dropped he turns vigilante to uncover the disturbing truth at the heart of this small community.
It’s not perfect at all and it might not be the story you want to tell but I think it has more specificity whilst still maintaining some mystery for the final act.
Hope this helps.
savinh0
You don’t have to add a detailed description of the story below your logline. If we don’t understand your premise based on your logline, your logline is not ready.
Your logline has to stand on its own.
Now to your logline:
I like it! Can visualize the story based on your wording. However, I would try to find something better than “unusual”. Sounds too generic for me, because unusual can mean aliens, ghosts or just crazy murderers.
Spencer222
Your logline is clear and understandable. Just to be nitpicky I would change the wording a little.
When a series of unusual deaths occur in an uncharted region of Alaska, an aspiring detective must seek those responsible while retaining his lawful morality in a hidden barbaric world.
One other note:
The stakes of the logline is that the protag might comprise his values, however, in the description, this is escalated to life or death.