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wedoitliveLogliner
Posted: August 4, 20162016-08-04T14:32:49+10:00 2016-08-04T14:32:49+10:00In: Noir

When a shy guy uses his lighter for the first time while talking to a pretty girl at a house party with dim lighting and strong winds outside the house, he must make a choice: is it lit, or isn’t it?

When a shy guy uses his lighter for the first time while talking to a pretty girl at a house party with dim lighting and strong winds outside the house, he must make a choice: is it lit, or isn’t it?
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    1. wedoitlive Logliner
      2016-08-04T14:33:31+10:00Added an answer on August 4, 2016 at 2:33 pm

      Oh, it’s lit!

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2016-08-04T17:04:09+10:00Added an answer on August 4, 2016 at 5:04 pm

      This logline attempt describes a scene, not a story.

      A logline will have a character, an event, the character will have a goal, something will stand in the way of the goal and there will be stakes if the character does not achieve that goal. If there is a sense of irony or a ticking clock that should be added as well.

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    3. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-08-04T20:04:34+10:00Added an answer on August 4, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      As Richieve said.

      What is the MC’s goal?
      What is standing in his way to achieving it?

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2016-08-04T23:10:38+10:00Added an answer on August 4, 2016 at 11:10 pm

      >>Oh, it?s lit!

      But this site is dedicated to loglines for movies.

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    5. [Deleted User]
      2016-08-05T02:44:50+10:00Added an answer on August 5, 2016 at 2:44 am

      This is very vague, even if it was a logline for a short film or scene tell the story. Why would he have to make the choice? What does the girl have to do with the lighter and why is he using his lighter? If it’s windy outside, what is the relation to the lighter?inside? It’s all very disconnected.

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