When a strange presence steps in their life with the intent to take care of their neglected daughter, her parents will have to get over the divorce trying to show how much do they take care of her before it’s too late.

    cesare88 Penpusher Asked on February 13, 2018 in Horror.
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      How about

      “Upon realizing a paranormal presence taking care of their neglected child, a mother must fix her divorce, before her kid is taken away forever”

      I edited for an active protagonist (Mother) rather than the passive (daughter)
      (while the husband could be disbelieving, declaring mother’s claims to be false)
      if the spirit isn’t satisfied with their parenting, she will take her daughter away to her own dimension–to be taken care of 😛

      Otherwise your concept has great potential
      All the best cesare88!!

      variable Mentor Reviewed on February 13, 2018.

      thanks 🙂 that’s sound good to me!

      on February 14, 2018.

      my pleasure

      on February 14, 2018.
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        I would suggest something like:

        When a paranormal presence steps in to take care of a couple’s neglected daughter, they have to stop their divorce and prove how much they care for their child before it’s too late.

        I’d also think there’s room to elaborate on “before it’s too late”.  if the parents don’t succeed what happens?

        wendyj Penpusher Reviewed on February 14, 2018.

        Thank you Wendy, I’ll think about it and see what comes out. 🙂

        on February 14, 2018.
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          Thank you Wendy, I’ll think about it and see what comes out 🙂

          cesare88 Penpusher Reviewed on February 14, 2018.
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            I think the child convincing the parents is the way to go here as far as establishing the protagonist. After you do that, you can really write the specifics of her challenge.

            Foxtrot25 Summitry Reviewed on February 14, 2018.
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