When a teenage girl is refused by her school girlfriends for still being a virgin, she decides to commit suicide when a sex offender kidnaps her.

    Samurai Posted on August 30, 2016 in Drama.
    Add Comment
    4 Review(s)

      Man this is dark. As a logline this doesn’t really make sense either — she’s going to commit suicide because her friends made fun of her I get, but what does her getting kidnapped have to do with it? It’s very disconnected.

      Mentor Answered on August 30, 2016.

      Moses99, thanks for your opinion, and yes, that happened unexpected, and a lot of things happens unexpectedly in life. The thing is that now instead of voluntary loosing her life she has to defend it. Another thing, she is about to loos her virginity, was that something she wanted to loose long time ago, would it make her happy now? She has to defend her life, and it (life) stars being precious, that event totally changes her perception of life and it´s values. I am just learning writing.

      on August 30, 2016.
      Add Comment

        I am not sure what you mean when you say, she is ‘refused’ by her school girlfriends’

        I would try a different word, maybe shunned might fit better.

        Singularity Answered on August 30, 2016.

        Richev,
        thanks, you are right, my english is just a bit limited, but i promise to improve (my native language is russian, but i always suspected they would teach us “wrong” english at school just for fun)

        on August 31, 2016.
        Add Comment

          This is very confusing.

          Forget logline and genre, what does the girl want and why?

          Perhaps if you list these things we may be able to help you put together a logline.

          Singularity Answered on August 30, 2016.

          Nir,
          the teen girl wants to be a part of  a group of her school friends, but that doesnt happen, they mock her, make fun of her, also because she never had a boyfriend and is still a virgin. Girls are very cruel at that age.  Not finding any support in family girl gets depressed, then more depressed and decides to go with a suicide, she may go to the bridge or some other way, but all the sudden she is kidnapped by a sex offender. He takes her to some place and put her in the basement with more young girls in it, where he keeps them and rapes them.  She  makes an escape plan that will work and will punish the bad guy and will free the other girls. When she is returned home she is met like a hero (or something) and all her school friends want to be her friend (some sort of), something like that in a few words. That event makes her feel how the life is precious. She felt other girls-victims need of her, she had to fight for her life and save other´s victims life, so the school friend don´t interest her anymore, though she lost her virginity, yes. I don´t know, would this explanation make some sense?

          on August 31, 2016.
          Add Comment

            The stakes don’t stack up.

            School yard popularity  v serial rape ???!!!! You just can’t compare the two.

            According to your description the plot should really be about her survival and helping the other prisoners, the backstory shouldn’t even be mentioned in the logline. Description of her school friends, or lack thereof, should be delegated to the synopsis.

            Here is an example of a logline with your subject matter and character:
            After a depressed teen is kidnapped by a serial rapist, she must lead all the other victims out of their prison to safety.

            Singularity Answered on August 31, 2016.

            Nir,
            thanks a lot, now i understand much better

            on September 1, 2016.
            Add Comment

            Your Review

            By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.