When a traitor agent quits and takes their biggest star to a competitor, the staff of “UNDERDOGS”, a boutique Talent Agency for Dogs: its owner, a bellicose no-nonsense New Yorker; a casting director, a debonair bitter out of place old-timer; and a casting agent, an aspiring actress more interested to getting cast herself than casting man’s best friends, scramble to find a replacement for a huge German Beer commercial; if they don’t, their agency will go to dogs. In the ensuing pandemonium a receptionist sees a big opportunity for his poodle. But will the Germans accept a French Poodle as a substitute of Saint Bernard and will the French Poodle be able to overcome his stage fright? The “Underdogs” better find out the answers soon, because the German patience is running thin and they are that close to kissing “Underdogs” Auf Wiedersehen.
The ensemble description is a bad idea for a logline in general and in this particular case complicates the read.
Loglines are best used to describe a single plot, and ideally about a single protagonist. You could write a dual protagonist plot, but those are hard to execute well – with every main character you add to your story it gets exponentially harder to write.
Agreed with DPG this is too long and you are trying to describe too many elements in one sentence. Take only the biggest plot points and use them, and only them, to describe your plot.
Who is the main character?
What is her flaw?
What is her obstacle?
What is her goal?
I suggest re drafting the logline and including only the answers to the above questions. In addition I think it would benefit your concept if you were to increase the stakes and make them clear, according to the latest draft I think the stake is bankruptcy, can you make it even greater? Would the MC stand to lose her life savings and home perhaps? Just a thought.