When a woman is lured into renting an apartment from a couple and s found murdered, young detective tries to piece together the puzzle despite the married suspects being tight-lipped about which one did it.
Sounds like a CSI episode, for that matter, it also sounds like either an NCIS or Columbo episode. A murder happens and the police detective figures it out – what’s the hook? How is this premise going to stand out and attract budget?
Other than that, the first clause is irrelevant backstory and can be cut. Following the police procedural paradigm, the inciting incident is the detective getting the murder case and therefore the logline should start with that.
Also, “….despite the married suspects being tight-lipped…” is obvious. They, or someone they know, killed the woman, why would they not be tight-lipped? If they weren’t, it wouldn’t be a murder mystery it would just be a confession.
Best to come up with a unique and personal motivation for the detective in addition to just doing his or her job, also best to come up with a unique type of criminal for him or her to chase.