When a world-weary farmer, looking for a way to change his life, forms an alliance with captivating mystics, their toxic obsession with enlightenment propels him into neglecting his marriage and his farm.

goyonder Penpusher Asked 5 days ago in Drama.
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The logline sets up a situation for a plot but, alas, does not lay out a clearly defined plot.

Exactly who is the protagonist?  The farmer or his victimized wife?  And as result of the situation, what becomes the protagonist’s objective goal?

Also rather than “captivating mystics” I suggest the term “charismatic mystic”.  IOW: define the nemesis in terms of a distinct alpha character who dominates the collective of mystics rather than the collective itself.

fwiw

 

 

dpg Singularity Reviewed 2 days ago.
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