When a writer looking for a new story decides to follow people as way to find inspiration he soon realizes he has more interest in interfering with people’s lives than in simply watching them, which leads him to find a cult he wasn’t supposed to find and face the consequences.

Logliner Posted on June 17, 2016 in Thriller.
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2 Review(s)

The logline sets up a situation for a plot, but it doesn’t doesn’t lay out a plot,  what causally follows from establishing his own cult.  (And I’m not sure what kind of a cult it is– religious or…?)

What is the objective goal of his setting up a cult?  To control other peoples’ lives because he thinks he knows better?  To manipulate and exploit weak-minded and gullible people?

(As a side bar, what is your objective goal  writing the story?  To explore the psychology of exploiting people’s weaknesses and delusions?)

And who/what opposes him?  Who/what threatens to defeat his purpose (whatever that is)?

And why is the story classified as a thriller?  Seems more like a drama to me. It could even play out as a comedy, but a thriller?

Singularity Answered on June 17, 2016.
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I like the idea of a writer who follows people to get inspiration and then interfering – this is an interesting concept. But I don’t feel ‘organic’ the part with the mysterious cult… how that fits with the character? If the movie is about the cult, then the logline uses too much words to describe how the main character finds the cult, and what I like in your story becomes just a part of the first act. Maybe you can try to include in the logline what links the cult (what cult?) to the main character’s flaw/obsession/goal.

Mentor Answered on June 17, 2016.
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