When a young man comes across a computer pop-up ad that informs him he will be killed in 3 days, he must do what he can to save himself.

    Penpusher Posted on June 23, 2018 in Drama.
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    5 Review(s)

      How does he know the ad is intended for him?
      How does he know it is real?

      This premise can work, but the logline as written has a problem as I don’t see how a normal person would change their whole life around because of a pop-up ad.

      Singularity Answered on June 23, 2018.
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        As Richiev said, it’s hard to see how someone would change their life around a pop-up ad.

        I’d like to add that the ad itself needs to do something cinematic, ie we need to see how it serves a danger to the main character. Maybe others have read the ad and died in 3 days (kind of like The Ring but for the internet).

        Also “young” doesn’t really describe the main character as that is a term that is open to suggestion.

        A 60 year old would see a 40 year old as young for example.

        Samurai Answered on June 23, 2018.

        >>>the ad itself needs to do something cinematic, ie we need to see how it serves a danger to the main character…
        Definitely edit your Inciting incident with this brilliant suggesting
        Good Luck!!

        on June 23, 2018.
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          “…he must do what he can to save himself” is redundant. Edit instead with an objective-visual-goal such as “….he must track down the creator of that O.S. to save himself”
          Good Luck!!

          Summitry Answered on June 23, 2018.
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            I would slightly change the concept from Internet pop up to funny app that has been downloaded.

            When users of an app that predicts your time of death starts dying at exactly the predicted time, a young Hacker must track down its origin to save himself.

            Like said by others, a very visual cue, like a giant countdown pop up that appears whenever he goes: digital billboard, airport airport/departure board, Internet screen, phone, TV screen.

            It’s a good concept for a mix of The Ring, Final Destination and D.O.A.

            To add tension, depending of what the person does, the countdown can jump speed down. People can buy time by doing nasty thing like in GTA. Push a grand-mother under a bus, increase your immediate countdown but increase your chance of being killed later.

            I would suggest the title: Game of Life.

            Samurai Answered on June 24, 2018.
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              False premise. I don’t believe a person would see a pop up add saying you’re going to die in 3 days and go oh snap, I didn’t know that, let me see what I can do about it! And anyone who would react that way is not someone I want to watch make other decisions for 90 minutes.

              Samurai Answered on June 28, 2018.
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