When a young woman’s marriage is arranged to a wealthy judge in the 17th Century, only she is accused by his jealous former lover of being a witch and partners with a childhood friend to prove her innocence before the trial.

    Mentor Posted on November 19, 2017 in Horror.
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      “When a young woman’s marriage is arranged to a wealthy judge in the 17th Century, only she is accused by his jealous former lover of being a witch and partners with a childhood friend to prove her innocence before the trial.”

      The wording in this logline is confusing. I think you need to replace “When…” with ‘After’ and delete “…only…” the sentence will make more sense this way. Clarity aside, the logline is unnecessarily too long, and the whole backstory of the arranged marriage can be cut.

      For example:
      After a young woman is accused of being a witch in 17th century London by her betrothed’s former lover, she must prove her innocence to save her life.

      However, I would argue that she needs a good flaw to struggle with “…young woman…” is might generic, furthermore, partnering with a friend is not the main action in the story – what will she/they actually do to prove her innocence?

      Singularity Answered on November 20, 2017.
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