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Gabbie.MichellePenpusher
Posted: June 23, 20222022-06-23T09:03:17+10:00 2022-06-23T09:03:17+10:00In: Student Loglines

When an 18-year-old female accidentally leaves a love letter to her female crush on the kitchen counter, she must find a way to come out to her parents before her mother accuses her father of cheating.

When an 18-year-old female accidentally leaves a love letter to her female crush on the kitchen counter, she must find a way to come out to her parents before her mother accuses her father of cheating.
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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2022-06-23T11:41:40+10:00Added an answer on June 23, 2022 at 11:41 am

      Perhaps if her parents were conservative or traditional it might up the stakes. Plus it would only add one word to the logline word count.
      —–
      “When she accidentally leaves a love letter to her female crush on the kitchen counter, a hesitant student must come out to her traditional parents before her mother accuses her father of cheating.”
      —–
      Overall your logline is solid and gets the story across to the reader.
      A good logline.

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      • Gabbie.Michelle Penpusher
        2022-06-24T11:22:51+10:00Replied to answer on June 24, 2022 at 11:22 am

        Thanks for the feedback.

        Would something like “When an 18 year old closeted lesbian accidentally leaves a love letter out in the open, confessing her feelings to one of her classmates, she must bite the bullet and come out to her unsuspecting parents, before her mother accuses her father of cheating.”

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        • Gabbie.Michelle Penpusher
          2022-06-24T11:23:15+10:00Replied to answer on June 24, 2022 at 11:23 am

          would something like that work better?

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        • Richiev Singularity
          2022-06-24T18:17:15+10:00Replied to answer on June 24, 2022 at 6:17 pm

          I think the term, ‘unsuspecting parents’ works well.

          Not sure if you need to tell us she is confessing her feelings since you already said it was a love letter, so it is implied.

          If you dropped that line but kept everything else the same it would read like this.
          —
          “When an 18-year-old closeted lesbian accidentally leaves a love letter out in the open, she must bite the bullet and come out to her unsuspecting parents before her mother accuses her father of cheating.”

          This will help a bit with the word count.

          Anyway, I like the concept, and as I said earlier, the sense of what the story is about comes through in the logline.

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