Signing Out
Chidi EzeibieliLogliner
When a cynical surgeon renounces his ancestral ties with a cabalistic tradition, he becomes the target of a dark force and must battle a phantasmagorical creature unleashed by the dark force to destroy him and everything he holds dear.
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Hi there Chidi,
It’s also the function of a logline to give an idea of how the story unfolds – in terms of the main action.
So, what is your hero’s main action? Is it ‘breaking and entry’ or does he do battle with the creature in order to save his family?
It’s for this reason that the first part of the original? logline – “after he renounces ties with his cabbalistic… ” – is essential to the logline.
But you need to go beyond this statement and give the actual reason why he renounces his ties and that reason needs to be something intriguing that relates to his family or a member of the family.
As of now, the agoraphobia is a side issue in regard to the logline.
Hope this helps.