When an explorer’s ancient necklace is stolen, she must retrieve it before it is used for evil.

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    Short film idea. Thinking similar to the beginning of Indiana Jones and the recent Tomb Raider film. 

    Penpusher Posted on December 2, 2019 in Adventure.
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      Your logline is short enough you could add a few details to flesh out the story in the reader’s mind:

       

      When her ancient necklace (That can control the weather) is stolen by an evil (Witchdoctor) an intrepid explorer with a knack for trouble must get the artifact back, before it’s used to (wreak havoc on the world)

      Singularity Answered on December 3, 2019.
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        Who is “she”? Give us more information about your protagonist.

        You haven’t specified that the necklace is magical in any way… maybe confirm this just to dispel any doubts and give us more specifics about how it is actually going to be used for evil. This way, we understand what’s at stake.

        Summitry Answered on December 2, 2019.
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          As mikepedley 85 said:  what is so magical about the necklace?  And who stole it?  In “Raiders of the Lost Ark” the power of Ark of the Covenant to destroy armies is part of the legend.  And the villains who want to aquire the Ark to exploit that power are Nazis.  So the stakes are self-evident and ultra-high and Indiana Jones is highly motivated.

          Singularity Answered on December 2, 2019.
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            Update:

            When her ancient necklace, which is also the key to a witch’s tomb, is stolen by a descendant of the witch, an inexperienced explorer must retrieve the necklace before the evil is released.

            Penpusher Answered on December 4, 2019.
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              Updated Logline:

              When her ancient necklace, which is also the key to a tomb full of horrors, is stolen by a descendant of the corpse, a spry young explorer must retrieve the necklace before the evil is released.

              Penpusher Answered on December 3, 2019.

              “descendant of the corpse”… what corpse?

              “tomb full of horrors”… like what? Demons? Evil monkeys? Undead? Specificity is always good in a logline otherwise the imagined story may differ from the one you want to tell. Don’t give the reader the opportunity to use their own imagination too much.

              “spry young explorer”… I would consider putting a characteristic in here that gives us a clue to the character’s arc. Spry and young, to me (and especially in context of an explorer) go hand in hand so I think it’s a little unnecessary. Does the story change at all if the explorer is older? If it makes little difference then give us the characteristic that would not change regardless of gender, age, race, education, etc. Who this character is has to be relevant to the story you are trying to tell.

              on December 3, 2019.

              Good advice by mikepedley85.  In a logline it is better for a character to be defined in terms of a trait that will have an impact on the outcome, usually a flaw or weakness that puts in jeopardy the character’s ability to achieve her objective goal.

              on December 3, 2019.
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