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RichievSingularity
Posted: October 30, 20202020-10-30T00:28:21+10:00 2020-10-30T00:28:21+10:00In: Examples

When an illegal immigrant kills her sister, a misunderstood witch must stop the culprit from escaping back to her own land without paying for her crime.

I was re-reading some of my past loglines, this is an example logline I did for practice but wasn’t happy with it. This is my revision.

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    6 Reviews

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    1. Odie Samurai
      2020-10-31T00:23:19+10:00Added an answer on October 31, 2020 at 12:23 am

      The flow needs help brother, I found myself questioning who’s on first – maybe I just need another cup of joe 😉
      Since Halloween is upon us let’s sprinkle some magic on this – what about this perspective?
      A coven of witches is broken when her sister is killed and this witch sister seeks revenge before the killer escapes her magic realm.

      Take care.

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2020-10-31T01:13:01+10:00Added an answer on October 31, 2020 at 1:13 am

      The Wizard of Oz, right?

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      • Odie Samurai
        2020-10-31T01:30:15+10:00Replied to answer on October 31, 2020 at 1:30 am

        This. Ha, it didn’t dawn on me that I was following that yellow brick road lol.

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      • Richiev Singularity
        2020-10-31T15:15:29+10:00Replied to answer on October 31, 2020 at 3:15 pm

        yup

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    3. JonnyW Penpusher
      2020-11-05T09:08:38+10:00Added an answer on November 5, 2020 at 9:08 am

      A good old revenge concept, one of my faves. An interesting hook too. It would make me curious to know more after reading this logline

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      • Richiev Singularity
        2020-11-05T09:52:07+10:00Replied to answer on November 5, 2020 at 9:52 am

        Thanks, this is actually a practice (Example) logline I revised for ‘The Wizard of Oz’. I wrote it from the perspective of the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’, as a challenge.

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