When prediction software found on the dark net determines he will die unless he kills a person he doesn’t know, a reclusive software scavenger must find the programme’s designer to alter his fate, but questions if his actions are leading him to his demise or his salvation.
How does the prediction software also give him instructions?
Is the fact that his call to adventure arrives via a mysterious prediction software necessary to share in the Logline? If so, could be it more clearly connected to the action he chooses to take?
Could that section be simplified by simply saying ‘When a message from the dark-web orders he commit an assasination or he will die …’ ?
Is there a way to include the source of antagonism that the character will face?
I would potentially leave out “but questions if his actions are leading him to his demise or his salvation”. This is a character considering their path inside their head. It’s not visually interesting for the audience. Instead, can you represent these questions in his quest?
Why is a reclusive software scavenger going to believe this game? what happens to him that makes him buy into it?