When broke indie movie-maker and his friends heads into a desert to shot found footage horror movie, they stumble upon a real monster and have to fight to survive.

    Samurai Posted on November 24, 2017 in Horror.
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    4 Review(s)

      Agreed with Savinh0.

      What is unique about this monster or group of characters? More importantly, what will the filmmaker do to save their lives? Or in other words, what is the main action he will take to defeat the monster?

      Lastly comment (and very important for loglines); GRAMMAR…

      Singularity Answered on November 26, 2017.

      Thanx for feedback, both of you. Well, its a found footage, similair to Blair Witch Project … everybody dies and they don’t stand a chance. So, best offensive is run away in panic mode. But it wont be the director, I have been working the story around in my mind and one of the “actors” will be the main character … just by being the last one to stay alive inside the camera footage. I will try to come up with new logline.

      on November 26, 2017.

      On the notes of grammar, I am not native english speaker. I might ask someone who is to correct my sentence … but once its polished and finished. Who knows how many times I will rewrite it and it can be a nuisance if I will keep coming back every day ūüėČ

      on November 26, 2017.
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        Is this a short-shock or a feature-length concept?
        They have to fight to survive? Yeah, that is basically what happens in every horror movie. What seperates your pitch from others out there?
        What is the theme of your story?

        Samurai Answered on November 24, 2017.

        Aye, this story is in its nappies. It originated when I read about how Blair Witch Project has been shot. Two directors giving GPS to their cast and preparing all these witchery items around the forest and leaving notes how to react, what to say … and now thats the twist … directors will get actually eaten, but three protagonist with cameras thinking that its just well executed trick, continuing to shoot the story.¬†Theme would be greed and ask a question how far should they go, how much to push the luck and where is point of no return?

        The story would run for 50 to 70 minutes I would guess

        on November 25, 2017.

        Thanx mate

        on November 26, 2017.
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          Nir and SavinhO are giving good advice. As it reads now, it is simply Blair Witch in the desert, adding a few specifics will help separate your story from that story.

          Monster is vague. What monster? Is it a giant ant, Bigfoot, an alien out for human brains? It doesn’t add that many words to name the monster. It will help to be specific.

          Singularity Answered on November 26, 2017.
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            Also, does you indie movie director have a goal? Is he about to lose his home? Is his wife making him quit unless he makes a hit film? (She has given him 10 years to follow his dream, now with only a few months left this is his last chance) Is he about to lose his company?

            The lead having a goal could also help distinguish your story. (Just a thought)

            Singularity Answered on November 26, 2017.

            Well, as I am now inclining to a different protagonist, I think the whole motivation for my new character (one of the actors) is just to star in a movie and finish it. Then it shifts into survival only.

            on November 26, 2017.

            So if it’s the actor who’s the lead,¬† maybe the director is in on it. The director is part of a cult that once a year ‘feeds’ the monster;however unknown to the director the lead character is a former Marine. The lead thinks it’s the role of a lifetime, but it turns out it could be the last role of his (her) life.

            on November 27, 2017.

            I will be honest ,I am not sure how to make original logline from this to not give the twist away. I am aware it sounds unoriginal in my first draft logline, but its something that would be extremely cheap to shoot (even by myself, once I buy camera) and its not to be sold as a screenplay, more of a personal project that I would like to execute on my own expenses. I am just testing if the story works before I break into screenplay writing.

            So, spoiler alert, this is what I have on my mind and I struggle to make a compeling logline from it:

            This is how my idea originated: When they were shooting Blair Witch Project, two directors sent three actors via GPS locator to a prepared sites where they have set all the witchery stuff and were watching actors reactions. Now my version of the story:

            Watching this “fake documentary” from a pov of the actors as they are¬† doing exactly the same – making fake documentary about a monster living in a desert, while two directors are running ahead, preparing sites to document¬†and make little scares here and there. But mysterious object falls from the sky and crashes nearby them. Thats the inciting incident. Two directors decide to make their fake found footage about that and set new goal and write new script for those three actors. Break into Act II: Actors will arrive on a designated location and see abandoned car of their directors (with lights on running all night, so car is dead) and unidentifiable mess of flesh, bones and intestines. Thinking, its a site set up by their directors, they will continue playing their role. But then they will start suspecting that maybe those corpses were for real and huge insecurity will start breaking them apart, people gone missing until only hero or heroine stays alive till the end of found footage. Thus, this is my idea – not being sure if its for real or if its just prepared, suspecting tricks behind everything and getting truly paranoid, monster is unseen, leaving only small traces that gives a feeling something is around them, waiting for time to strike. Extraterrestrial predator that can’t be challenged, only option is to run away and survive. But there is nowhere to go, its a middle of Australian desert. No water, no shelter from sun, no town nearby and a dead car and dying hope that this is all just a well executed trick of the directors and they will pop up out of nowhere and take them all home.

            on November 27, 2017.
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