When Christmas HQ is to be torn down due to a lack of belief, a diffident new Santa rallies the other Santas to get children believing again, but when nothing raises the belief-ometer he must find the real cause before Christmas morning.

    Summitry Posted on November 28, 2019 in Family.

    Title: The League of Claus

    on November 28, 2019.
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    3 Review(s)

      Is someone or something actively tearing down Christmas HQ, or does it fall apart when the belief-ometer drops below a certain level?

      What propels the diffident Santa to rally the other Santas? Why him and not one of the others? Wouldn’t the cause that sets the diffident Santa in motion be the story’s inciting incident?

      Doesn’t someone need to save the day by Christmas Eve, before Santa Starts his rounds? By Christmas morning the presents have all been distributed.

      Mentor Answered on November 29, 2019.

      Good questions. There’s a lot of exposition that I couldn’t fit in the logline so I’d be interested to hear your (and everyone else’s) thoughts as to what should be in there.

      Christmas HQ (not the North Pole) will be torn down by the directors of Christmas (senior Santas). When a person who has loved Christmas all their life and done good deeds for others, given good presents, etc, they continue their life as a Santa Claus. Each Santa has a patch that they deliver to and take care of. I wanted to provide a different answer to “how does Santa deliver all the presents?”. Easiest answer is that there are hundreds of Santas.  Christmas is now being run like a business, there’ll be a department for Xmas movies, Xmas food, Xmas music, etc. The belief-ometer (I’ll come up with a better name) has been low for a while and it causes Christmas HQ to become more and more rundown. The North Pole was actually abandoned because the maintenance costs were too high due to belief being too low. So they relocated to an office building. But the amount of belief is taking its toll on this office building too. So Christmas HQ is due to be torn down, the work outsourced and the whole operation downsized.

      Why this guy? The amount of new recruits has gradually decreased for years so every new recruit is actually considered quite special. He is the only new recruit for a few years so he’s treated differently. He has a belief in Christmas and the benevolence of the season that sets him apart from all the rest who are all now a little jaded and cynical. They all believe that what they do doesn’t matter because, every year, more and more kids stop believing. This then leads to the finale. The discovery is that it’s not about how many children believe. It’s about believing in yourself. If these Santas believe that they can make a difference, whether the children believe or not makes no difference. It’s great when someone believes in you, it’s even better when you believe in yourself. That’s the message.

      It’s before Christmas morning, because that’s when the decision will be made to tear down HQ. The directors think that when kids see presents under the tree, that’s when belief is potentially at its highest so they want to assess the situation after that. In actuality, the scenes would be the kids seeing the presents and saying “thanks mum” and the Santas still believing in themselves regardless. North Pole will actually magically start to regenerate itself because of self-belief. I hope this answers your questions. Any more help with this logline is greatly appreciated.

      on November 29, 2019.
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        “On the verge of bankruptcy and an elf revolt, the new Santa has one week to discover why no one believes in Christmas in order to raise the belief-o-meter, and save Christmas”

        Singularity Answered on November 30, 2019.

        Like this version. I would drop the “new” in front of Santa as it makes people wonder what happened to the “old” Santa.

        on November 30, 2019.
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          Richiev’s version is simple and works well.

          A question that comes to mind is why did children stop believing in the first place?

          In other words, it would be great to include a unique antagonist in the logline. It could be a pop culture icon that’s captured the youth’s imagination, an addictive social media platform or a video game manufacturer.

          Singularity Answered on December 1, 2019.
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