Cosmic Wrath
JanCabalLogliner
When corporate spy infiltrates a fanatic cult which overthrew a deep space mining colony, he finds a mind altering alien artifact capable of conjuring world-destroying monster.
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“When he discovers a mind-altering alien artifact capable of conjuring a world-destroying monster, a corporate spy must (Do this thing) or (This bad thing) will happen.”
Posting again as it wasnt sent as a reply:
Ah, thanx mate 🙂 Nice to still see you around. And yeah, your makes more sense and sounds more exciting.
I just thought that it would come as an obvious thing that he must destroy it or monster will destroy our world. The setting is more like H.P Lovecraft and cosmic horror in space inspired by Dead Space. Also I have decided to give him a daughter to give him extra motivation! Also it takes place in space and its going to be a scifi. I am thinking of way to incorporate the setting. And its for a novel, although I am using the beat sheet for it.
When his daughter joins a fanatic sect off-world that worships an alien artifact capable of conjuring a world-destroying monster, a corporate spy must destroy it before it wipes out humanity
You do make some good points.
However, what I meant by, he must (do this thing) is more along the lines of. “He must travel to mount doom”, in order to destroy the ring.
In other words, what is the plan? What is the thing he must do, in order to be able to destroy or stop the alien artifact (Even if the plan fails in the end)
Thinking on paper here:
You have an alien artifact that can alter a person’s mind, then my guess would be the lead must find a way to protect his mind from being controlled by the alien artifact in some way before he could destroy it.
For the sake of tension, perhaps this (Mind Protection) will only last 24 hours. This is because of (Insert, Scientific mumbo jumbo here) so your lead would have a ticking clock, a limited time to infiltrate the cult, save his daughter, and destroy the artifact before he becomes mind-controlled by the thing.
Anyway, that is just an idea. Hope it helps.
I think the concept is solid
Thanx
I see what you mean. The mambo jumbo I have made – In order for human to be infected, he has to touch the object (even although object has been whispering to people to lure them in and main hero will hear it aswell). All the main hero has to do is to not touch it in order to keep his own will. There is one beat where he is forced to touch it, but he dodges it by planning for the event and creating a distraction last moment. Ticking clock is – turned people will become zombies and later turn into organic matter merging together to raise a huge galactic gate. It needs lots of material. And the sect organised lots of shipments of humans to come over as it got some popularity in the world. So he has to stop it before the new material arrives. But it will arrive. And then he has to stop it before everyone gets infected and merges. I have a list of a lot of things that will go wrong all the time.
Hm, but I am not sure how to put it into the logline that would absorb it all. Resisting the artifact is his natural wit, destroying the artifact is a matter of TNT. What will stand in his way is its own defense mechanisms, hordes of zombies, his own comrades turning on him when falling under the spell, another corporations trying to get control of it, list is perhaps too long
I have borrowed a synopsis from Wicker man
When a young girl mysteriously disappears, Police Sergeant Howie travels to a remote Scottish island to investigate. But this pastoral community, led by strange Lord Summerisle, is not what it seems: the devoutly religious detective soon uncovers a secret society of wanton lust and pagan blasphemy.
When daughter of influential CEO disappears on the off-world mining planet, corporate spy travels to investigate. But this colony is not what it seems: rational detective soon uncovers fanatic cult worshiping an alien artifact which feeds on humans and opens portal for world-destroying titans.
Ah, thanx mate 🙂 Nice to still see you around. And yeah, your makes more sense and sounds more exciting.
I just thought that it would come as an obvious thing that he must destroy it or monster will destroy our world. The setting is more like H.P Lovecraft and cosmic horror in space inspired by Dead Space. Also I have decided to give him a daughter to give him extra motivation! Also it takes place in space and its going to be a scifi. I am thinking of way to incorporate the setting. And its for a novel, although I am using the beat sheet for it.
When his daughter joins a fanatic sect off-world that worships an alien artifact capable of conjuring a world-destroying monster, a corporate spy must destroy it before it wipes out humanity