“When he discovers the wild animals he’s hired to kill are actually outback Aborigines, an old west sharpshooter uses his rifle skills to take down the greedy landowner and protect the very people he was hired to kill.”

    Singularity Posted on November 8, 2018 in Examples.
    Add Comment
    2 Review(s)

      An American cowboy hired to kill `’wild animals`’ in the Outback instead uses his sharpshooting skills against his Australian employer when he discovers his job is to kill Aborigines.
      (29 words)

      Awkward.  My principal concern is that the original version  buries the identity of the protagonist in the logline.  He’s not identified until almost 1/2 way through .  So if I were to stay with the original version, I would lead off with “When an American cowboy — clearly identifying the protagonist by the 4th word instead of the 18th.


      Singularity Answered on November 8, 2018.

      True. But it is the inciting incident, which I don’t normally panic about.

      on November 9, 2018.
      Add Comment

        –Quigley Down Under–

        Singularity Answered on November 8, 2018.
        Add Comment

        Your Review

        By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.