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mobiuswestPenpusher
Posted: March 29, 20222022-03-29T06:43:25+10:00 2022-03-29T06:43:25+10:00In: Noir

When her daughter is sent to hospital after being attacked, a mother tries to find the assailants regardless of the consequences.

Short film logline 3. Part of a trilogy of shorts focused on female leads.

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    3 Reviews

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    1. sloanpeterson Logliner
      2022-03-31T03:14:54+10:00Added an answer on March 31, 2022 at 3:14 am

      I know it’s a short film, but I feel like there could be a little more detail here. It feels a little short for a logline, which is unusual, people are usually struggling to make them shorter!

      I think descriptive words of the characters would be good, is the mother normally mousy and quiet and this is a departure for her or is she a badass tough lady? Who attacks the daughter? Drug dealers? A teenage rapist? Gang members? The more angry your audience the more they will be on board with your main character tracking them down.

      Again, it’s very clear and I wouldn’t change the structure, I would just add more description.

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    2. [Deleted User]
      2022-04-10T05:31:31+10:00Added an answer on April 10, 2022 at 5:31 am

      A grieving mother(spy) goes all in after her innocent daughter is attacked for not wanting to join a local’s gang, and this sends her on a John Wick, and Nobody Rampage until her job is complete.

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    3. Odie Samurai
      2022-04-05T02:25:11+10:00Added an answer on April 5, 2022 at 2:25 am

      This is what I can glean:
      “A mother seeks revenge against the assailants who hospitalized her daughter”

      As sloanpeterson mentioned, the logline can use some color.
      Another angle: “regardless of the consequences” = hellbent.

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