When her mother is convicted as a paedophile, a 16-year-old girl struggles with therapy, high-school, and an overnight change in how she is seen by society as she seeks to be legally emancipated.

Singularity Posted on October 10, 2019 in Drama.

Title: Lost Girl

on October 10, 2019.

This could be super interesting to watch.  I think you might need to clean it up a little and make the action a little clearer. What is it that she needs to do, whats her must?

on October 11, 2019.
Add Comment
3 Review(s)

Nice work! So we have one young female protagonist, one sexually messed up mother, who then causes our protagonist to be highly motivated to seek relief from the situation.

A middle-aged woman convicted of paedophilia is a very original concept, mostly because it breaks with the stereotype. Swapping the antagonist character for a male of course implies incest.

While such a setup suggests much psychology, what might be the character flaw of the young girl be? Is she simply meek and lacking courage?

Penpusher Answered on October 11, 2019.

Thanks, Philippe, for the feedback. Valuable comments.

I’m still considering what her flaw might be – at the moment, I think she’s hot-headed. She’s looking for a quick fix but her journey is discovering that nothing can fix it, you just have to accept it.

on October 11, 2019.
Add Comment

You have a unique situation with plenty of potential, now you need to sort out the different strands and find the main story.

Why would the girl need legal emancipation? Since you have not told us otherwise, I would assume her mother is in jail and the girl is a ward of the state. By the time her mother gets out of jail, the girl will be a legal adult. Hence, for all intent and purpose she is already emancipated from her mother. So why bother when she has so many other problems? —  Unless, and this you have not told us either, the girl was also a victim of her mother’s crimes. In that case we can understand her wanting to sock it to her mother come what may.

If she is not a victim, then how does society see this young woman? Hereditary sex offender? Unindicted co-conspirator? Or self-centered brat who abandoned her mother when she needed help? If her battle with society is the main theme, tell us what she must do to bring society around to her side.

Mentor Answered on October 11, 2019.

Great feedback, thanks! Some valuable points and insights.

She wants the emancipation because she wants no affiliation with her mother any more but she doesn’t want to be placed in a foster home or with another legal guardian. She wants that independence but it’s kind of a knee jerk reaction in a bid to not be seen as a paedophile’s daughter. It’s her goal even if it’s not actually necessary, easy, or logical. In her head, the emancipation separates her not just legally & financially etc, but also emotionally. She believes that emancipation is a quick-fix solution to her change of circumstances and her internal journey is understanding that it’s never going to happen. There is no quick fix – she has to accept it.

In my head, she’s not a victim and has never been, but others almost struggle to believe that she wasn’t abused too. Society sees her as a victim whether she was or not. She finds herself almost having to defend her mother, who she now hates for putting her in this situation. The therapy almost makes her question every affectionate thing that her mother has ever done to her and there is definitely an element of hereditary sex-offender stuff in there too – it’s a worry for her.


on October 11, 2019.
Add Comment

 An interesting premise, but… mess it up, really mess it up.  Go deeper.

Have her mother make a “Mrs. Robinson” move on her boyfriend (or at least the boy she has a crush on.)

And her mother is not only arrested but also pregnant.  The minor whom she seduced is the father.


Singularity Answered on October 14, 2019.
Add Comment

Your Review

By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.