When her prestigious legal firm goes under for corruption, a successful lawyer finds herself reliving her troubled childhood when she reluctantly accepts a job as legal aid family court lawyer.

    Logliner Posted on May 7, 2019 in Drama.
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    6 Review(s)

      I am intrigued that the protagonist is female and I think the revised version clarifies matters. 

      But I’m still not sure what the story is about.  What is her specific objective goal?  Prove her innocence? Defend a juvenile delinquent?  Not get killed?

      Of course, a protagonist can be juggling  multiple problems, but a plot is about one dramatic problem, the most important one  The one that is the organizing, unifying principle for the entire script.   And the logline describing that plot should be framed in terms of that specific, singular, unifying dramatic problem.

      >> “reliving her troubled childhood”

      That relates to a subjective problem.  But loglines focus on objective problems.

      And loglines  focus on the present and future (in terms of the objective goal) — not the past.  Think of the protagonist as sitting in the driver’s seat of a plot vehicle,  She may being pursued by events from her past.  Even so, she can’t drive the plot vehicle looking all the time at what is pursuing her through the rear view mirror.  She has to look out the front window — at the present and towards the future with only occasional and short glances through the rear view mirror.

      A logline is about what she’s driving toward out the front window — not what she’s driving  from as glimpsed in the rear view mirror.

      Singularity Answered on June 11, 2019.
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        I think you should try to add stakes to the struggle the protagonist takes on. In its current state, it feels as if the protagonist is reacting to the situation she finds herself in by reliving this trauma. If you can show how the stakes involved effects her struggle, you’ll have a stronger concept.

        Penpusher Answered on June 11, 2019.
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          I think the reader can understand the story from this logline.

          However, I do agree with kid_gokuu about the lead character being reactive. But the idea is solid.

          I would probably drop the part about reliving her troubled childhood unless of course, she worked as a legal aid family court lawyer when she was a kid. (or at least show how her childhood and working as a legal aid family court lawyer connect)

          Singularity Answered on June 11, 2019.

          Hmm – good point. What about

          When a junior law partner is arrested for corruption, she survives on bail as a legal aid family lawyer, helping  juvenile delinquents she denies she once resembled,  while trying to solve her case before she’s killed.

          on June 11, 2019.
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            Surely a lawyer who’s been arrested for corruption would have been immediately disbarred? How is she allowed to practice?

            In your new version… who’s trying to kill her??? To me that came out of nowhere.

             

            Overlord Answered on June 11, 2019.

            Good point. So she’s charged but not yet guilty? I mention below, but her clients are shady wealthy people. Her partners more corrupt and while she never broke the law, she’s arrested with the rest of them – not yet trialled and convicted.

             

            The threat comes from her clients who are afraid she might snitch though she’s not yet sure where they broke the law….

            Plausible?  Originally I had her law firm go down for corruption so she’s tarnished with the same brush and clients don’t know if she knows or not…

            on June 12, 2019.
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              A thought.  If the firm was dissolved because of corruption, is it credible that she was utterly clueless, had no idea of the malfeasance?  Or is it likely she deliberately looked the other way, didn’t ask probing questions?  That while she was not legally culpable, she did compromise her values in pursuit of the big bucks?

              If that’s in the backstory then would it make sense that her legal aid work is an atonement for her moral failure?  Could this is a redemption story?

              fwiw

               

              Singularity Answered on June 12, 2019.

              Yes-  very much a redemption story though not intentional by her.  The legal aid is the last resort – humbling, the last place she wants to be  – but works out to be a good thing for her. (just finished season synopsis)

              In my head, I had that she never broke any laws but her clients definitely did and her partners were worse than her – she was still young.  Kind of like the firm where you kind of get caught up in it but can’t get out.  But yes, she pushed the barriers for money and values were probably very compromised.  the idea is she is disgraced, she’s on bail so not yet guilty hence still has a license, and her clients suspect she might snitch on them to save herself.

              So let’s in my head – how do I get it into a good logline…

               

              on June 12, 2019.

              Even if she’s out on bail there’s no way she’s going to be able to get this type of new job (speaking as a lawyer myself just not plausible). She needs to get away with whatever lines she crossed to make it plausible. Of course her moral guilt can be motivation to be a do-gooder later.

              on June 14, 2019.
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                >> just finishes season synopsis

                So this is a TV series, not a feature film?

                Singularity Answered on June 13, 2019.
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