RockFightFilmsPenpusher Posted: February 13, 20202020-02-13T08:30:39+10:00 2020-02-13T08:30:39+10:00In: NoirWhen Private Investigator Kris Kringle wakes with amnesia, he must use five clues found on his person to retrace his steps, remember his past and save a missing child.– ShareFacebook3 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentRichiev 64 Loglines 3,441 Reviews 307 Best Reviews 81,675 Points View Profile Richiev Singularity 2020-02-14T11:31:44+10:00Added an answer on February 14, 2020 at 11:31 am Here is the Irony:By calling the lead character Kris Kringle, you take away the dramatic tension. Everyone who reads it is going to know, He’s Santa.But if you take away the name Kris Kringle, you get rid of the hook.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppKeymiser 3 Loglines 9 Reviews 1 Best Answer 411 Points View Profile Keymiser Logliner 2020-02-13T20:46:36+10:00Added an answer on February 13, 2020 at 8:46 pm Never use a characters name in a logline, give a description of who he is rather instead, and describe the characteristics that assembles him starting out as a weak character, and ending with a change of heart that possibly makes him stronger.And is the person a antagonist bit confused or is it himself? he fighting to piece together the clues to save this child…and what is this child too him? his kid, a runaway kid, or street kid? ?kind of vague there he should be a bit more descriptive that make us care bout this kid being found.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppMike Pedley United Kingdom (UK) 68 Loglines 666 Reviews 102 Best Reviews 51,130 Points View Profile Mike Pedley Singularity 2020-02-13T18:56:01+10:00Added an answer on February 13, 2020 at 6:56 pm The missing child bit feels a bit tacked on. Surely that’s a pretty important detail and ultimately his end goal? This logline could possibly benefit from an MPR.Usually names are discouraged, however, if this is supposed to be a Xmas movie, then it makes sense. If it is a Christmas movie though, I would consider adding a deadline of Christmas Day or something. Just to hammer it home that this is a Christmas movie. Assuming it is obviously.If it’s not a Christmas movie… why is he called Kris Kringle?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?