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deserthorrorLogliner
Posted: May 6, 20162016-05-06T03:06:47+10:00 2016-05-06T03:06:47+10:00In: Horror

When seven actors arrive ready to shoot a horror movie but the location is desert. Soon they start dying just as the script describes.

When seven actors arrive ready to shoot a horror movie but the location is desert. Soon they start dying just as the script describes.
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    6 Reviews

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    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-05-06T12:40:28+10:00Added an answer on May 6, 2016 at 12:40 pm

      I think the intention was to specify that “…the location is a desert…”.

      I’m not sure how the location being a desert is a problem, I’ve worked on many shoots that were in a desert and there were no deaths involved.
      Best to specify what it is that makes this particular location dangerous.

      The biggest problem with this logline is the glaring lack of plot:
      Who is the main character? What does he or she want to achieve and why?

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    2. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2016-05-06T12:54:41+10:00Added an answer on May 6, 2016 at 12:54 pm

      >>”I think the intention was to specify that ??the location is a desert??.”
      I thought he was trying to deserted.
      But yes, the lack of drive, of plot, is a glaring problem. Having an assemble cast is fine, but make sure each is given a reason to be a part of the cast in the first place.
      Since this is horror, you tried to make the logline really reflect that, your execution was just not there. Maybe something “When a the actors for a horror movie start dying like in the script..”
      Really just make the actual plot?the focus of the logline, ?does the location really matter? If it is a desert as Nir Shelter thinks, that doesn’t really scream horror anyway, but if it deserted, then is that really that important for the logline?

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    3. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2016-05-06T13:09:50+10:00Added an answer on May 6, 2016 at 1:09 pm

      I think you are relying a little to much on the reader understanding the genre. ?It feels like your typical slasher/horror film (which I like). ?But what makes your one different.

      What are their biggest challenges. ?Like why not just leave? ?A deserted location can still be in the centre of a large town or city. ?If we are just watching lambs getting slaughtered one by one, what are the lambs doing to protect themselves. ?Plus we normally end up with the super-blond that survives, how does that happen in your story.

      I think it has merit. ?The concept of the script being the method of victim selection is nice.

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2016-05-06T13:55:37+10:00Added an answer on May 6, 2016 at 1:55 pm

      The premise of the story seems to be a case of death imitating art.

      I assumed the desert location was to set up a remote location from which the actors could not easily escape. ?Still, why would the actors keep acting out their roles, after the deaths start? ?Unless the horror movie is about the mysterious death of 7 actors while filming a movie about 7 actors mysteriously dying while filming a movie.

      But, still, the question remains: ?what becomes the objective goal of the surviving cast, and specifically the director after death starts imitating art?

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    5. TheBear Logliner
      2016-05-06T15:23:24+10:00Added an answer on May 6, 2016 at 3:23 pm

      This is a modern version of “And then there were none”, with the desert location being the factor that isolates them, much like the island in “And then there were none”. ?But there is the question of why – why are these particular people being targeted? Is there something in their past that links them? Is one of them the killer?

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    6. Winterblast Penpusher
      2016-05-08T05:04:49+10:00Added an answer on May 8, 2016 at 5:04 am

      Interesting. If you were able to hint at more of the drama behind this particular group of people then I think it could be even more interesting. Right now, it sounds like a group of random actors being killed off, which is less interesting than if the group had some type of drama-filled?history….

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