When the land is threatened by the curses of emerging night creators, a selfish rogue and his two friends forced to go on a quest to find the girl from prophecy, to save the land.

    Penpusher Posted on June 8, 2019 in Fantasy.
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    1 Review(s)

      Thanks for joining Logline It, Yara!

      Now for the hard truths…

      First of all, fantasy is a hard sell unless it is based on an underlying bestselling novel. That said, it is commendable to come up with original stories, whatever genre they are in.

      About the logline itself:

      It is important that we understand what the elements of the logline mean. To me “the curses of emerging night creators” doesn’t mean much. Be specific.

      I’m not a fan of “forced to”.

      (You probably mean “are forced to”. Make sure you don’t leave grammatical errors in a logline. It is so short that if people find errors here, they will be reluctant to read longer documents written by you, expecting more of the same)

      We use the verb “must” on Logline It, which sounds less like an external force.

      “to find the girl from prophecy”: Another missing word. Should be “from the prophecy”

      This is vague again, because we don’t know who is the girl or what is the prophecy.

      Please put an updated and improved version of the logline here in the comments, and then we can look at it again.

      Happy loglining!

      Samurai Answered on June 9, 2019.

      Thank you for your honest review, it helped me a lot.
      I know a logline is meant for movies, but I wrote this one for the book I am working on, and you helped me answer the most difficult question for writers (to sound dramatic) : “what is your book about?” so thank you.

      “When the land is threatened by the curses of emerging night creators, (night creatures called the NightSouls who curse people by their magical powers forcing a dark magic to open within their soul hurting them until death and the girl from prophecy has the ability to stop them. like you said “fantasy is a hard to sell” and explain because it is a high fantasy world.)
      a selfish rogue and his two friends must go on a quest to find the girl from the prophecy, to save the land/ or to help put an end to their dread.”

      on June 9, 2019.
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