thedarkhorse's Profile




  • Samurai Posted on September 13, 2019 in Romance.

    “Stepmother” because the daughter is trying/plotting to get rid of her – like Bonjour Tristesse.
    She has a near-incestuous relationship with the father and is with our playboy to antagonise him.
    The father is an old friend and rival of the playboy – and they have a shared deep dark secret that could destroy them both in the eyes of those who love them. There’s plenty of conflict there.

    (The father still believes the playboy is responsible for the death of a former girlfriend. However – the secret within the secret – is that it’s the father’s neglect and irresponsibility that led to her suicide. I think this is interesting because of the main tragedy/fireworks has already happened and only now are they dealing with this trauma that’s rippled back to them.)

    Troubled – Um. I’m still working on whether he’s an alcoholic. He’s definetly a commitment-phobe. Like “La Dolce Vita”, he’s disillusioned by his hedonistic pursuits and searching for something deeper. He believes he’ll find it in the daughter – who he idealizes and puts on a pedastal. It’s only later does he realize her agenda (she’s using him and manipulating him to toy with her father). His arc: he’s a scoundrel who longs to be decent and honourable.

    You say: must navigate a weekend retreat filled with sexual tension and jealousy.
    Well there’s quite a bit happening.

    You’ve got this playboy steadily falling in love with fiance’s stepmother.

    This whole time he thought he was in love with this nubile young thing – who is actually using him to antagonize the father. More than anything, she wants to get rid of the stepmother who she resents.
    The father is forced to entertain this old friend who he deeply dislikes – and is somewhat territorial and “jealous” of this former rival stealing his daughter.

    The stepmother, trapped in a loveless marriage, steadily begins to open her closed door and be vulnerable.

    But – it’s all the under the surface. I want to keep up the sexual tension and jealousy and mindgames until the third act where there’s this emotional bloodbath and everything is laid out on the table.

    A real climax.

    Anyways – cheers for reading. I’ll keep working on this.

    • 7 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on September 12, 2019 in Romance.

    Hi guys.

    It should be in the vein of LA PISCINE (1969) and BONJOUR TRISTESSE (1958).
    Both French romantic dramas. The first one is more a psychological thriller or existentialist thriller. To me – they’re both Mediterranean/holiday films where the setting is a character and a selling point.

    These are influences. Right now – it’s more of a romantic drama. There’s a bit of LOLITA (1997) and WHOSE AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF (1966) in there as well. Again – these are influences.

    I’m still working on the logline/synopsis – so go easy on me ha.


    • 7 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on September 11, 2019 in Romance.

    Longer version: After he finds out the mysterious woman he spent the night with is his fiancee’s stepmother and an old friend’s wife, a troubled playboy must navigate a weekend retreat filled with sexual tension and jealousy.



    • 7 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on September 6, 2019 in Drama.

    Ignoring my comment/rough overview –  what do people think of the logline? Any potential there? A hook?  In-built conflict?

    Also, should I get rid of this part – – “and a case that exposes the increasingly mad world they live in”?

    • 7 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on September 6, 2019 in Drama.

    Okay – we’ll make her completely innocent… yet they still want to give her life.

    What do you think of “12 Angry Men” in our day and age? I mean there’s plenty of in-built conflict. Perhaps the demented mentally ill murderer could be the son of a rich politician – add another layer?

    • 7 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on September 6, 2019 in Drama.


    “12 Angry Men” for the millennial age explores how far (or how little) we’ve come.

    Racism, inequality, and prejudice – still rampant.

    It seems only the woman and the everyman want to save this transgender woman.


    1. A rock bottom singer – weathered by a misogynistic industry.
    Her 15 minutes are over.
    A singer who is desperate to make a difference – but is it for her career or for the world?

    2. A wealthy entrepreneur/businessman. Racist? Benign? All powerful?
    And it turns out the uncaring, unsympathetic entrepreneur has valid reasons to hate this transgender woman???

    3. A simple hothead mechanic. – He’d have reasons to feel dislike.
    A hothead who needs the money – and is bribed.
    Does he still have integrity?
    A man who doesn’t care about politics or even the trial – he only cares about cars. He slowly grows a heart.

    4. A stuttering soft spoken everyman – from Midwest. He reveals himself to have a brain.
    The honest Joe boyscout. A self righteous do gooder striving to protect this transgender woman.
    Decent and honourable yet ultimately no one is listening to him.

    5. A wealthy politician recovering from a health scare.
    A once vain Golden boy. Healed. Found God.
    Trying to figure out the man he’s going to be in phase 2 of his life. He is caught between old and new.

    They are defending a transgender black woman who killed a demented (yet mentally ill) young man who raped and murdered a woman.

    The mentally ill murderer is a millennial gone mad – desperate for attention, desensitised to what’s real and what he can get away with. He professes he did it for instagram/Facebook likes and is a self professed “artist”.

    The transgender black woman avenged her friend’s death.

    It should explore how the media manipulates and ultimately controls the trial.

    Explores: celebrity culture, media manipulation, politics, racism, prejudice, class divide, inequality, toxic masculinity.

    • 7 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on July 19, 2019 in Romance.

    Longer version: Both suffering a career setback, a washed-up singer and a one-time novelist spend the night howling at the moon, opening closed doors, and shedding past loves, but a dark secret from his past threatens to destroy their mad, magical night.

    – this one is for me to use when writing.

    • 2 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on July 19, 2019 in Drama.

    What follows is a meditation on success, failure, love, relationships, and whether you can have it all.

    • 3 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on July 18, 2019 in Romance.

    Thanks Mikepedley85. Great notes. I’ll have to give this some serious consideration.

    a) Well  – again I’m not sure whether it’s a wedding or engagement party (just something small over the weekend). 

    The singer and her partner have not seen each other in a year. They’ve both been on hiatus. 

    He invites her over and announces his engagement to a new woman – and that he wants to take a break. The black sheep brother unexpectedly arrives to mend some personal ties.

    I like the familial rivalry. The Cain and Abel thing. 

    I imagined a dinner scene where after the singer and black sheep brother have slept together, the creative partner to get jealous and angry and jeopardises his wedding. 

    The partner is still the past. Later on, it’s revealed why it didn’t work out and that she’s kept an idealised version of him (I like everyone’s rose-coloured glasses idea, we see what we want to see, etc). 

    Similarly, this perfectionist singer at first sees the black sheep brother as nothing but a mess (the irresponsible, mr. uncommitable rom com lead). And then later finds out there’s more to him. 

    The singer and the black sheep brother – are both afraid of love and it’s messy realities. She uses work to escape from it. He’s afraid of commitment/responsibility/growing up.

    b) Again – I’m not sure whether to go the fiancee’s ex or black sheep brother route. With the black sheep brother, he’s returning to mend ties with his golden boy brother. I also wanted to do a Cinema Paradiso returns back home thing here ha.

    The singer and black sheep brother fall for each other because they’re in a similar place – getting to 40, haven’t married, settled down, chose work over love. Heavy past. Uncertain future. 

    She’s definitely a singer. She rises to the top in a misogynistic cutthroat industry. The one person she’s always had in her corner: from their humble garage start to touring/constant airplanes to basically living in the studio is… her partner. They were lovers but it didn’t work out. She’s very much losing her best friend as well.

    The question I want to explore: can you have it all?

    The other logline is good but I just don’t see myself going there. I don’t see a wedding – just a few days at a Chateau in South of France. I don’t see a fiancee’s ex – just a golden boy and black sheep. That family angle I like.

    Anyways – I will explore it from the fiancee’s ex corner. I do want to try it from every angle.

    Thanks for your help.

    • 7 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Samurai Posted on July 18, 2019 in Romance.


    A fiercely independent, feisty artist and perfectionist; her perfectionist creative partner (a producer, arranger, childhood friend) who wants to stop and raise a family (she doesn’t, she wants to make a comeback, she doesn’t want to “stop the train” though she secretly wants a family, etc); and the black sheep brother, an irresponsible freewheeling man child, a brilliant novelist in youth who has since been in writers block, self destructing and sleepwalking through his life. (If only someone could light that spark?)

    I apologise for my wrong use of semi-colons there ha.

    Their chemistry:

    Uptight vs laidback, perfectionist vs freewheeling, rich vs poor (interestingly I’m considering making our protagonist a “clawed her way out of the gutter/self made woman”. She’s down to earth and humble. I also think the male love interest is more a scruffy bohemian. So I don’t think class division is a big thing here). 

    I’m not sure whether to make it an engagement party or wedding. Weddings are cliche and overdone and I want this to be about second thoughts and looking back. I don’t want it to end with a wedding – maybe just a wistful letting go. We’ll see. Perhaps a wedding is more intense? Could add a ticking clock if it’s on the Sunday?

    I want to keep it small. Four characters and the parents. I don’t want an ensemble thing – just two lovers howling at the moon, shedding past loves, and opening closed doors. 

    Lastly – do you think protagonist being a singer is too glamorous a job and removes you from the main coupling problem? Regardless – I’ll probably end up seeing if it works. I imagine her leaving the stage and feeling a great loneliness and emptiness. I imagine her living on airplanes. So this guy, her creative partner is the only real solid stable thing she’s ever had. She thought their partnership was strong-as-oak.

    Her trying to win him back is her trying to reclaim her past glory. Not only that, but what they had wasn’t working anymore. 

    I apologise in advance as everything is still half-baked. I want to stay malleable still. I’m still exploring the idea. I’d love to get feedback. What does everyone think?

    Also – any advice for writing singers? I was considering making her a brilliant cover artist and interpreter. Then I considered making her “a chameleon” who regenerates every few years. She has her own artistic world. She covers different genres: rock, pop, country, blues, etc. 

    • 7 reviews
    • 0 votes