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A woman stands up one man for another because he is nicer, so she thought. She soon discovers he’s a serial killer and her life depends on the first man to send that psycho to hell.
The "protagonist" has no consequences stacked up against her. She also has no goal. Why is she doing this? Readers can already tell she'll be a flat character. WHO THE STORY IS ABOUT, WANTS SOMETHING VERY BADLY BUT MUST DO WHAT TO GET IT.
The “protagonist” has no consequences stacked up against her. She also has no goal. Why is she doing this? Readers can already tell she’ll be a flat character.
WHO THE STORY IS ABOUT, WANTS SOMETHING VERY BADLY BUT MUST DO WHAT TO GET IT.
See lessOn the verge of quitting his job to get married, a presumptuous man gets curiously rejected when proposing to his girlfriend and therefore hires a private investigator to investigate her reasons; but when he discovers that the PI has been following the wrong girl all along and feeding him false information, he must learn to listen to others selflessly before his girlfriend discovers that she’s being investigated.
This sounds more like a synopsis. Dwindle it down to its bare story which I presume is a man hiring a detective to investigate his girlfriend. I think the last part of it makes it seem too much like a synopsis: "when he discovers that the PI has been following the wrong girl all along and feeding hiRead more
This sounds more like a synopsis. Dwindle it down to its bare story which I presume is a man hiring a detective to investigate his girlfriend. I think the last part of it makes it seem too much like a synopsis:
“when he discovers that the PI has been following the wrong girl all along and feeding him false information, he must learn to listen to others selflessly before his girlfriend discovers that she?s being investigated.”
there’s a simpler way to say this. it isn’t a complex idea so I don’t think it needs a complex logline. See less
Rework: As Galactic Police become victims in a series of murders, the frazzled Investigator must catch the contract killer and the secretive mastermind, to protect his own family.
What is the central story? There are three story lines but no central protagonist.
What is the central story? There are three story lines but no central protagonist.
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