I agree with Rich. The other thing the story is a bit vague. Of course there is revenge. But if you are going to tell us, give us some detail. "..it triggers an ancient form of retribution that makes him wish he never ordered the raid" That is a lot of words to say revenge. Save those words and giveRead more
I agree with Rich. The other thing the story is a bit vague. Of course there is revenge. But if you are going to tell us, give us some detail.
“..it triggers an ancient form of retribution that makes him wish he never ordered the raid”
That is a lot of words to say revenge. Save those words and give us meat on the bones that will make us hungry for more.
Nice. It may end up that way. The cat and mouse would imply that he is doing things to outsmart the police. I think of it (so far in my head) as two stories. Both heading for the same outcome (probably) the death of the driver.
Nice. It may end up that way. The cat and mouse would imply that he is doing things to outsmart the police. I think of it (so far in my head) as two stories. Both heading for the same outcome (probably) the death of the driver.
Hi Richiev, I am thinking an indie thriller. I would be aming for an almost horror feel. Still formulating an arc. Or in this case I think it is intertwining arcs. I would imagine the driver starts out doing something that the audience is "yep, he deserved it". As it progresses, he is getting less jRead more
Hi Richiev,
I am thinking an indie thriller. I would be aming for an almost horror feel. Still formulating an arc. Or in this case I think it is intertwining arcs. I would imagine the driver starts out doing something that the audience is “yep, he deserved it”. As it progresses, he is getting less justified. The cop would then begin to get more of the audience’s support.
When the leader of the Assassination Cartel’s grandson is killed during a raid authorized by the American President, the semi-retired leader invokes an ancient vengeance that will wipe out the president’s seed from the earth
CraigDGriffiths
I agree with Rich. The other thing the story is a bit vague. Of course there is revenge. But if you are going to tell us, give us some detail. "..it triggers an ancient form of retribution that makes him wish he never ordered the raid" That is a lot of words to say revenge. Save those words and giveRead more
I agree with Rich. The other thing the story is a bit vague. Of course there is revenge. But if you are going to tell us, give us some detail.
“..it triggers an ancient form of retribution that makes him wish he never ordered the raid”
That is a lot of words to say revenge. Save those words and give us meat on the bones that will make us hungry for more.
See lessA disenfranchised (unstable) taxi driver seeks violent justice for passengers he feels have been wronged. He is pursued by a detective who is willing to cross the line to bring him to justice.
CraigDGriffiths
Nice. It may end up that way. The cat and mouse would imply that he is doing things to outsmart the police. I think of it (so far in my head) as two stories. Both heading for the same outcome (probably) the death of the driver.
Nice. It may end up that way. The cat and mouse would imply that he is doing things to outsmart the police. I think of it (so far in my head) as two stories. Both heading for the same outcome (probably) the death of the driver.
See lessA disenfranchised (unstable) taxi driver seeks violent justice for passengers he feels have been wronged. He is pursued by a detective who is willing to cross the line to bring him to justice.
CraigDGriffiths
Hi Richiev, I am thinking an indie thriller. I would be aming for an almost horror feel. Still formulating an arc. Or in this case I think it is intertwining arcs. I would imagine the driver starts out doing something that the audience is "yep, he deserved it". As it progresses, he is getting less jRead more
Hi Richiev,
I am thinking an indie thriller. I would be aming for an almost horror feel. Still formulating an arc. Or in this case I think it is intertwining arcs. I would imagine the driver starts out doing something that the audience is “yep, he deserved it”. As it progresses, he is getting less justified. The cop would then begin to get more of the audience’s support.
See less