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Agree with variable. Where are the stakes in this story? Also, how is he given a 2nd chance and why is that relevant to the story?
"What, really, is lost by not designating a protagonist? " I proceed that a log should suggest to a star talent what the story would mean for them if they were to sign up. I don't like mentioning "shady used car person" The original version is best in my mind, but why not chop the photo reveal to "cRead more
I would set up the environment first, While on an extended field trip... Or, Before the conclusion of their field trip... ...has until the parents expect them to return.