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  1. Posted: September 16, 2016In: Thriller

    A savvy, overly confident uni student sets up a food delivery business as a front for drug trafficking, but when his operation is exposed he fakes his death on a hiking trip, but one detective won?t accept his disappearance until the search reveals his body, dead or alive.

    GStar Logliner
    Added an answer on September 19, 2016 at 9:25 pm

    Those were all really great comments guys and really makes me think about my character and how I can make him more interesting, there's a strong reaction from the drug dealer angle which is interesting given that there my exposure to that world hasn't always been what you would expect. The story wasRead more

    Those were all really great comments guys and really makes me think about my character and how I can make him more interesting, there’s a strong reaction from the drug dealer angle which is interesting given that there my exposure to that world hasn’t always been what you would expect. The story was inspired by an interview I did years ago, an young Asian uni student who became involved in the infamous Asian Triad gang that in Sydney, he was caught, found God (it was for Uniting Care). He wanted a glitzy lifestyle that he saw on telly but fortunately managed to come turn his life around. It was a growing up experience for him and I thought in that way his character was relatable, he knew what he was doing but he also realised what the opportunity cost was to his life to his state of mind.

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  2. Posted: August 9, 2016In: SciFi

    When a groom-to-be discovers his identical twin has been replaced by an android, they must partner up to investigate his wedding party and find those responsible for the decoy.

    GStar Logliner
    Added an answer on August 9, 2016 at 11:16 pm

    I think it's an interesting premise but I feel like it has the potential to be really confusing for an audience. (which is OK if you're a really experienced screenwriter) ? The investigation of the wedding party isn't meaty enough to hang the entire the 2nd Act on, it needs more than that, somethingRead more

    I think it’s an interesting premise but I feel like it has the potential to be really confusing for an audience. (which is OK if you’re a really experienced screenwriter) ? The investigation of the wedding party isn’t meaty enough to hang the entire the 2nd Act on, it needs more than that, something bigger needs to be uncovered for me to have a hook here, and it needs more suspense, what is at stake if they don’t find his twin brother? ?I am also missing an emotional connection, is the brother the only real family he has left? Give me a reason to really care about finding his twin.

    By no means is this stuff easy, but I am hoping these points will help you to make it stronger.

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