If this were my logline, I'd focus more on character 'Fish'. "unwillingly chosen" implies a character of meek traits - just as Nemo was also unwillingly chosen. Theme feels to be embracing an environmental message: "Man unwittingly destroying earth/sea". A quick sketch logline for Nemo may read: "WhRead more
If this were my logline, I’d focus more on character ‘Fish’. “unwillingly chosen” implies a character of meek traits – just as Nemo was also unwillingly chosen. Theme feels to be embracing an environmental message: “Man unwittingly destroying earth/sea”.
A quick sketch logline for Nemo may read: “When [an overly cautious clown fish], [discovers this son has been captured by deep sea divers], he must [save his son, and escape the dangers of a dentist’s fish tank]
“Dentist’s fish tank” maybe replaced with “ordinary human destruction” …
Deconstructing the logline, I get: Inciting incident = mother dies suddenly & tragically protagonist = distraught daughter suffering grief antagonist = cult of violent sacrificial ritual. A mother dying suddenly has a wonderful fairytale quality to it (although genre is Thriller). In my view, GrRead more
Deconstructing the logline, I get:
Inciting incident = mother dies suddenly & tragically
protagonist = distraught daughter suffering grief
antagonist = cult of violent sacrificial ritual.
A mother dying suddenly has a wonderful fairytale quality to it (although genre is Thriller). In my view, Grief is not a character trait – it’s an emotion, felt by said character. An example of a character trait might be Withdrawn – which is then the outcome of grief and sadness.
Think how the logline might personify the villain? Currently the cult feels very anonymous, vague, difficult to imagine.
The world is about to be destroyed by none other than an ordinary human, and the only one who knows about it is an unwillingly chosen fish.
Philippe Le Miere
If this were my logline, I'd focus more on character 'Fish'. "unwillingly chosen" implies a character of meek traits - just as Nemo was also unwillingly chosen. Theme feels to be embracing an environmental message: "Man unwittingly destroying earth/sea". A quick sketch logline for Nemo may read: "WhRead more
If this were my logline, I’d focus more on character ‘Fish’. “unwillingly chosen” implies a character of meek traits – just as Nemo was also unwillingly chosen.
Theme feels to be embracing an environmental message: “Man unwittingly destroying earth/sea”.
A quick sketch logline for Nemo may read: “When [an overly cautious clown fish], [discovers this son has been captured by deep sea divers], he must [save his son, and escape the dangers of a dentist’s fish tank]
“Dentist’s fish tank” maybe replaced with “ordinary human destruction” …
See lessWhen her mother dies suddenly and tragically, a distraught daughter must contend with her spiralling grief; but when the cult she has sought support from begins to take over her life, he must she must free herself and her family from their grip before they fall victim to a violent sacrificial ritual.
Philippe Le Miere
Deconstructing the logline, I get: Inciting incident = mother dies suddenly & tragically protagonist = distraught daughter suffering grief antagonist = cult of violent sacrificial ritual. A mother dying suddenly has a wonderful fairytale quality to it (although genre is Thriller). In my view, GrRead more
Deconstructing the logline, I get:
Inciting incident = mother dies suddenly & tragically
protagonist = distraught daughter suffering grief
antagonist = cult of violent sacrificial ritual.
A mother dying suddenly has a wonderful fairytale quality to it (although genre is Thriller). In my view, Grief is not a character trait – it’s an emotion, felt by said character. An example of a character trait might be Withdrawn – which is then the outcome of grief and sadness.
Think how the logline might personify the villain? Currently the cult feels very anonymous, vague, difficult to imagine.
See less