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Does the Dean's daughter not get a say? It hasn't been established that she falls for him too, so, in a post #MeToo era, I feel like it needs to be 100% clear that it's mutual right from the start. I like the idea, I just feel like there needs to be more to it to make it stand out from the other simRead more
This is really hard to follow I'm afraid. Fantasy is always difficult because there is always an amount of expositional stuff that is needed. In this case though, I feel like it could be cleaned up a little too. Pet peeve: "young man" - your protagonist deserves better! Imagine if someone close to yRead more
The protagonist should never be forced to go on his quest. He MUST go willingly into the second act. I feel like I'm missing some information. Who is the crown fighting? Surely everyone is questing after this? We need to understand why it's so important the travellers get there first. What happens iRead more