Does the Dean's daughter not get a say? It hasn't been established that she falls for him too, so, in a post #MeToo era, I feel like it needs to be 100% clear that it's mutual right from the start. I like the idea, I just feel like there needs to be more to it to make it stand out from the other simRead more
This is really hard to follow I'm afraid. Fantasy is always difficult because there is always an amount of expositional stuff that is needed. In this case though, I feel like it could be cleaned up a little too. Pet peeve: "young man" - your protagonist deserves better! Imagine if someone close to yRead more
The protagonist should never be forced to go on his quest. He MUST go willingly into the second act. I feel like I'm missing some information. Who is the crown fighting? Surely everyone is questing after this? We need to understand why it's so important the travellers get there first. What happens iRead more
To win the affections of the dean’s daughter, a bad boy rich kid has until graduation to get accepted into a snooty club, in order to prove his worth.
Mike Pedley
Does the Dean's daughter not get a say? It hasn't been established that she falls for him too, so, in a post #MeToo era, I feel like it needs to be 100% clear that it's mutual right from the start. I like the idea, I just feel like there needs to be more to it to make it stand out from the other simRead more
When a young man discovers a magic sword that gives him the power to see the curse that he has due to his sins and that will guide him to the lost city where he will be healed, he will have to deal with the supreme leader of his former city as well as the guilt of past actions.
Mike Pedley
This is really hard to follow I'm afraid. Fantasy is always difficult because there is always an amount of expositional stuff that is needed. In this case though, I feel like it could be cleaned up a little too. Pet peeve: "young man" - your protagonist deserves better! Imagine if someone close to yRead more
A cynical sellsword joins forces with a mysterious traveler to conceal a wish-granting treasure when he learns that the King who hired him to find it will use it to become an all-powerful tyrant.
Mike Pedley
The protagonist should never be forced to go on his quest. He MUST go willingly into the second act. I feel like I'm missing some information. Who is the crown fighting? Surely everyone is questing after this? We need to understand why it's so important the travellers get there first. What happens iRead more