Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
After the death of their father 4 children must face their abusive mother and expose her lies and abuse if they want to have a chance at a happy life.
On the surface, the logline follows a clear structure, which makes it fairly easy to read. You may find a way to avoid the repetition of abusive/abuse, and add a comma after 'father'. Because of the "and ... and", I would probably also put a comma after the second 'abuse'. That would make it a tad eRead more
On the surface, the logline follows a clear structure, which makes it fairly easy to read.
You may find a way to avoid the repetition of abusive/abuse, and add a comma after ‘father’. Because of the “and … and”, I would probably also put a comma after the second ‘abuse’. That would make it a tad easier for me.
In terms of the story, I am not gripped by it because there is no clear point of view. “4 children” is too vague, as I don’t have any particular character to engage with. At the very least, a logline needs to give us some detail about the main character, so we can get a feel for them.
Finally, “face their abusive mother and expose her lies” is not a cinematic goal. It lacks a definitive ending, so it is hard to visualise what the end of this movie could look like.
Great loglines allow us to visualise in our mind what the film would look and feel like.
I hope this all helps!
See lessWhen an interdimensional rupture unravels reality, an unlikely hero must channel her newfound powers to fight bizarre and bewildering dangers from the multiverse as the fate of the world hangs in the balance.
I think getting the IRS off her back is certainly one of the more mundane goals in this film. In cinematic terms, I guess this means to defeat Jamie Lee Curtis.
I think getting the IRS off her back is certainly one of the more mundane goals in this film. In cinematic terms, I guess this means to defeat Jamie Lee Curtis.
See lessIn the near future, a young genius escapes a moonbase where a madman secretly enslaves scientists in his plan to wipe out life on Earth but when no one believes him, he alone must find a way to destroy the base and free the other scientists.
It's a cool, dramatic premise. I don't get a feel for the character yet, though. "Young genius" is not enough to promise an engaging character for me. What personal challenges does the character face? Also, the survival of mankind is only a valid stake if there is someone close to the MC that we carRead more
It’s a cool, dramatic premise. I don’t get a feel for the character yet, though.
“Young genius” is not enough to promise an engaging character for me.
What personal challenges does the character face?
Also, the survival of mankind is only a valid stake if there is someone close to the MC that we care enough for to understand why he does it, other than out of self-preservation. This is why so many disaster movies are centred around families and/or couples.
Finally, I would prefer to see a logline following our formula, starting with ‘when’.
See lessRight now I struggle to see a clear trigger incident for the story, which means there may be a lot of exposition and backstory.