It sounds more like a novel than a movie, Leon. The only action here by your Papuan girl hero is 'to convince' her lover. This is likely not sufficient to sustain a second act.
It sounds more like a novel than a movie, Leon.
The only action here by your Papuan girl hero is ‘to convince’ her lover. This is likely not sufficient to sustain a second act.
Richie is right. This is a (great) description of a setting, a world. In the screen business, there is no concept or story without a central character, and a clear objective for this character.
Richie is right. This is a (great) description of a setting, a world. In the screen business, there is no concept or story without a central character, and a clear objective for this character.
The logline sounds odd, which probably means that English is not your native language. I'm in the same boat, but you need to do better than this. First of all: no past tense in a logline. So no "died"; instead: "When his father and brother die...". - "the work in mines" doesn't sound like proper EngRead more
The logline sounds odd, which probably means that English is not your native language. I’m in the same boat, but you need to do better than this. First of all: no past tense in a logline. So no “died”; instead: “When his father and brother die…”. – “the work in mines” doesn’t sound like proper English. – “to survive life”? Nobody survives life! 😉 You probably mean: to make a living, or to make ends meet. All that said, I’m not sure I want to watch a movie about someone working in a mine, whatever is being mined. What do you have that is worthy for the big screen??
When a determined Papuan girl falls for a graduate with a fatal illness she convinces him to flee his crazy fiancé and allow her Medicine man grandfather to heal him and have him accepted by her people.
Karel Segers
It sounds more like a novel than a movie, Leon. The only action here by your Papuan girl hero is 'to convince' her lover. This is likely not sufficient to sustain a second act.
It sounds more like a novel than a movie, Leon.
The only action here by your Papuan girl hero is ‘to convince’ her lover. This is likely not sufficient to sustain a second act.
See lessIn the near future, the next pandemic divides the world into two pods: the safe – Positives, and the dangerous – Negatives. The Positives can’t get infected from each other, but can from an infected Negative. The Positives enjoy all the glories of life, the Negatives none. Some Negatives pose and cross over to live as Positives. At the penalty of death. This is their story
Karel Segers
Richie is right. This is a (great) description of a setting, a world. In the screen business, there is no concept or story without a central character, and a clear objective for this character.
Richie is right. This is a (great) description of a setting, a world. In the screen business, there is no concept or story without a central character, and a clear objective for this character.
See lessWhen his father and brother died in a tunnel collapse, a mischievous young boy must take over the work in mines to survive life.
Karel Segers
The logline sounds odd, which probably means that English is not your native language. I'm in the same boat, but you need to do better than this. First of all: no past tense in a logline. So no "died"; instead: "When his father and brother die...". - "the work in mines" doesn't sound like proper EngRead more
The logline sounds odd, which probably means that English is not your native language. I’m in the same boat, but you need to do better than this.
See lessFirst of all: no past tense in a logline. So no “died”; instead: “When his father and brother die…”.
– “the work in mines” doesn’t sound like proper English.
– “to survive life”? Nobody survives life! 😉 You probably mean: to make a living, or to make ends meet.
All that said, I’m not sure I want to watch a movie about someone working in a mine, whatever is being mined. What do you have that is worthy for the big screen??