I'm now thinking that we should include the fact that her husband was the sole survivor of previous missions to the lighthouse. But it's hard, because in this film initially a lot of elements seem unrelated. And I'm ignoring the 3 time frames of the movie...
I’m now thinking that we should include the fact that her husband was the sole survivor of previous missions to the lighthouse. But it’s hard, because in this film initially a lot of elements seem unrelated. And I’m ignoring the 3 time frames of the movie…
This logline really only sets up the Inciting Incident. So rather than promising a 100 minute movie, it gives us the first 15 minutes. A logline needs to hold the promise of a full-length film. To fix this, you need to answer the question DPG asks above: "What MUST he do".
This logline really only sets up the Inciting Incident.
So rather than promising a 100 minute movie, it gives us the first 15 minutes.
A logline needs to hold the promise of a full-length film.
To fix this, you need to answer the question DPG asks above: “What MUST he do”.
Hi Wind, I'm not sure if you were serious with this logline, but if you were I recommend you read the guidelines on this site?in order to better understand what is expected. Then, you can post an updated version here in the comments. As it stands right now, we don't really have a character ("a guy"Read more
Hi Wind,
I’m not sure if you were serious with this logline, but if you were I recommend you read the guidelines on this site?in order to better understand what is expected.
Then, you can post an updated version here in the comments.
As it stands right now, we don’t really have a character (“a guy” is too vague), and the rest of the sentence provides only a setup, an event or catalyst. Without the character doing anything, there is no story.
When a military-trained biologist’s husband unexpectedly returns alive from a secret mission, she must go on a quest to a mysterious lighthouse to save his life – and the world.
Karel Segers
I'm now thinking that we should include the fact that her husband was the sole survivor of previous missions to the lighthouse. But it's hard, because in this film initially a lot of elements seem unrelated. And I'm ignoring the 3 time frames of the movie...
I’m now thinking that we should include the fact that her husband was the sole survivor of previous missions to the lighthouse.
See lessBut it’s hard, because in this film initially a lot of elements seem unrelated. And I’m ignoring the 3 time frames of the movie…
a broke man falls back to his “college dream band” only to realize his record producer is the mafia he is running from
Karel Segers
This logline really only sets up the Inciting Incident. So rather than promising a 100 minute movie, it gives us the first 15 minutes. A logline needs to hold the promise of a full-length film. To fix this, you need to answer the question DPG asks above: "What MUST he do".
This logline really only sets up the Inciting Incident.
So rather than promising a 100 minute movie, it gives us the first 15 minutes.
A logline needs to hold the promise of a full-length film.
To fix this, you need to answer the question DPG asks above: “What MUST he do”.
See lessA guy walks in a bar to find himself in the middle of a heist.
Karel Segers
Hi Wind, I'm not sure if you were serious with this logline, but if you were I recommend you read the guidelines on this site?in order to better understand what is expected. Then, you can post an updated version here in the comments. As it stands right now, we don't really have a character ("a guy"Read more
Hi Wind,
I’m not sure if you were serious with this logline, but if you were I recommend you read the guidelines on this site?in order to better understand what is expected.
Then, you can post an updated version here in the comments.
As it stands right now, we don’t really have a character (“a guy” is too vague), and the rest of the sentence provides only a setup, an event or catalyst. Without the character doing anything, there is no story.
See less