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  1. Posted: June 23, 2022In: Student Loglines

    When an 18-year-old female accidentally leaves a love letter to her female crush on the kitchen counter, she must find a way to come out to her parents before her mother accuses her father of cheating.

    Richiev Singularity
    Replied to answer on June 24, 2022 at 6:17 pm

    I think the term, 'unsuspecting parents' works well. Not sure if you need to tell us she is confessing her feelings since you already said it was a love letter, so it is implied. If you dropped that line but kept everything else the same it would read like this. --- "When an 18-year-old closeted lesRead more

    I think the term, ‘unsuspecting parents’ works well.

    Not sure if you need to tell us she is confessing her feelings since you already said it was a love letter, so it is implied.

    If you dropped that line but kept everything else the same it would read like this.
    —
    “When an 18-year-old closeted lesbian accidentally leaves a love letter out in the open, she must bite the bullet and come out to her unsuspecting parents before her mother accuses her father of cheating.”

    This will help a bit with the word count.

    Anyway, I like the concept, and as I said earlier, the sense of what the story is about comes through in the logline.

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  2. Posted: June 22, 2022In: Action

    When a charismatic pick pocket acquires the bag of a world leader along with top secret information, he must risk making enemies in order to leak the information to the world.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on June 23, 2022 at 6:52 pm

    You should tell us what information the lead character discovers so the reader will know the stakes.

    You should tell us what information the lead character discovers so the reader will know the stakes.

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  3. Posted: June 22, 2022In: Action

    When a charismatic pick pocket acquires the bag of a world leader along with top secret information, he must risk making enemies in order to leak the information to the world.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on June 23, 2022 at 6:52 pm

    You should tell us what information the lead character discovers so the reader will know the stakes.

    You should tell us what information the lead character discovers so the reader will know the stakes.

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