There are a lot of words in this logline that don't really tell us anything about the plot or what this story is actually about. Because when you tell us the lead must break out of his shell and go beyond the call of duty... it is like a coach telling reporters the team needs to give 110%, instead oRead more
There are a lot of words in this logline that don’t really tell us anything about the plot or what this story is actually about.
Because when you tell us the lead must break out of his shell and go beyond the call of duty… it is like a coach telling reporters the team needs to give 110%, instead of saying, we need to work on the offensive line and get the running game going.
In order to improve the logline, you should start with what specifically happened to the fiddler crab’s sister. Because what happens to her seems to be what sets the story in motion.
Without knowing what the lead character’s sister needs saving from, makes it difficult to picture the story in our heads.
Then, after you tell us specifically what happened to the lead’s sister, you should tell us what the lead character plans on doing about it. The lead carrying out the plan will be the plot. So telling us the plan will help us visualize the story.
Also by the end of the logline, we should at lead have an idea of what is standing in the lead characters way as well.
Anyway, you obviously have an idea in your head, hope this helped give you an idea on how to put that idea into logline form.
If you must use a must in your logline, then you must have an or else, or else the must won't have meaning or stakes. The lead character Must do this Or else this bad thing will happen.
If you must use a must in your logline, then you must have an or else, or else the must won’t have meaning or stakes.
The lead character Must do this Or else this bad thing will happen.
A traditional fiddler crab breaks out of his shell and goes beyond the call of duty to dive into a global climate crisis to save his sister, their slice of the creek, and potentially the world.
Richiev
There are a lot of words in this logline that don't really tell us anything about the plot or what this story is actually about. Because when you tell us the lead must break out of his shell and go beyond the call of duty... it is like a coach telling reporters the team needs to give 110%, instead oRead more
There are a lot of words in this logline that don’t really tell us anything about the plot or what this story is actually about.
Because when you tell us the lead must break out of his shell and go beyond the call of duty… it is like a coach telling reporters the team needs to give 110%, instead of saying, we need to work on the offensive line and get the running game going.
In order to improve the logline, you should start with what specifically happened to the fiddler crab’s sister. Because what happens to her seems to be what sets the story in motion.
Without knowing what the lead character’s sister needs saving from, makes it difficult to picture the story in our heads.
Then, after you tell us specifically what happened to the lead’s sister, you should tell us what the lead character plans on doing about it. The lead carrying out the plan will be the plot. So telling us the plan will help us visualize the story.
Also by the end of the logline, we should at lead have an idea of what is standing in the lead characters way as well.
Anyway, you obviously have an idea in your head, hope this helped give you an idea on how to put that idea into logline form.
See lessA retired cavalry soldier is forced to partner with a Cheyenne Indian to track down a serial killer who has kidnaped his daughter.
Richiev
Btw that is why I dropped 'forced' from my logline example lol. Great Comment!
Btw that is why I dropped ‘forced’ from my logline example lol. Great Comment!
See lessA retired cavalry soldier is forced to partner with a Cheyenne Indian to track down a serial killer who has kidnaped his daughter.
Richiev
If you must use a must in your logline, then you must have an or else, or else the must won't have meaning or stakes. The lead character Must do this Or else this bad thing will happen.
If you must use a must in your logline, then you must have an or else, or else the must won’t have meaning or stakes.
The lead character Must do this Or else this bad thing will happen.
See less