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  1. Posted: June 23, 2022In: Short Film

    when power hungry aliens close in on earth, one of the worlds most skilled gamers must play a game of five card poker with them in order to save humanity

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on June 23, 2022 at 12:00 pm

    Interesting concept, plus it can be shot in a single room. Not sure if you have to say five-card poker since traditional poker is played with five cards, so you can cut it to just poker. If there is anything to change in the logline, perhaps the description, 'one of the world's most skilled gamers'Read more

    Interesting concept, plus it can be shot in a single room.

    Not sure if you have to say five-card poker since traditional poker is played with five cards, so you can cut it to just poker.

    If there is anything to change in the logline, perhaps the description, ‘one of the world’s most skilled gamers’ is a bit long, why not, ‘the world’s best gamer,’ or ‘world champion poker player’?

    But these are minute details. The logline is solid if you don’t want to change it.

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  2. Posted: June 23, 2022In: Student Loglines

    When an 18-year-old female accidentally leaves a love letter to her female crush on the kitchen counter, she must find a way to come out to her parents before her mother accuses her father of cheating.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on June 23, 2022 at 11:41 am

    Perhaps if her parents were conservative or traditional it might up the stakes. Plus it would only add one word to the logline word count. ----- "When she accidentally leaves a love letter to her female crush on the kitchen counter, a hesitant student must come out to her traditional parents beforeRead more

    Perhaps if her parents were conservative or traditional it might up the stakes. Plus it would only add one word to the logline word count.
    —–
    “When she accidentally leaves a love letter to her female crush on the kitchen counter, a hesitant student must come out to her traditional parents before her mother accuses her father of cheating.”
    —–
    Overall your logline is solid and gets the story across to the reader.
    A good logline.

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  3. Posted: June 22, 2022In: Student Loglines

    When his family is ripped apart by a sociopathic outlaw, a resented young man must face his past to save their lives

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on June 22, 2022 at 8:28 pm

    His family ripped apart by a sociopathic outlaw is external. Facing his past is internal. You should give us the external action the lead character must take to defeat the sociopathic outlaw in the logline. (While keeping the internal growth of the lead character in the story but not in the logline)Read more

    His family ripped apart by a sociopathic outlaw is external.
    Facing his past is internal.

    You should give us the external action the lead character must take to defeat the sociopathic outlaw in the logline. (While keeping the internal growth of the lead character in the story but not in the logline)

    All that being said, the logline has a gripping beginning; ‘ripped apart’ is very descriptive, same with the term ‘sociopathic outlaw,’ definitely keep everything up to the first coma.

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