I am not sure the stakes are high enough. A defense company would sell weapons, perhaps even bombs, helicopters, assault weapons, military drones. Why would they take bribes? To make money selling guns to organizations on the terrorist watch list. In other words, if an unscrupulous organization bribRead more
I think this logline is solid because any questions I might have will probably be answered during the course of the story. Character: Shy Girl Goal: Rescue/Find her father Outer Obstical: Nazi's Inner Obstacle: She's shy but must go outside Twist: There is an imaginary monster
A defence company sales manager discovers that his division manager has built a bribery mechanism inside the company and he needs to stop them before they will be able to fire him
Richiev
I am not sure the stakes are high enough. A defense company would sell weapons, perhaps even bombs, helicopters, assault weapons, military drones. Why would they take bribes? To make money selling guns to organizations on the terrorist watch list. In other words, if an unscrupulous organization bribRead more
A sleep technician finds that his patient is dead while sleeping. He suspects that his boss, with past in the Russian security services, has deliberately did it and he is trying to frame him. He has until daytime to find what killed him before his shift ends and the police will be notified.
Richiev
You say he must call the police by the next day, but you should make it so he 'can't' call the police until the next morning.
In the middle of Nazi Germany, a shy girl and her imaginary monster try to rescue her father, who has disappeared.
Richiev
I think this logline is solid because any questions I might have will probably be answered during the course of the story. Character: Shy Girl Goal: Rescue/Find her father Outer Obstical: Nazi's Inner Obstacle: She's shy but must go outside Twist: There is an imaginary monster