I am assuming there is an 'or else' Is it lose the ring or lose the girl ------------------- "After leaving a family heirloom wedding ring on a commuter train, a desperate groom must catch the train before it reaches San Jose or lose the wedding band forever."
I am assuming there is an ‘or else’ Is it lose the ring or lose the girl ——————-
“After leaving a family heirloom wedding ring on a commuter train, a desperate groom must catch the train before it reaches San Jose or lose the wedding band forever.”
You shouldn't give away the ending or a 'big reveal' in a logline. A: If something important happens in the first ten minutes of the story, add it to the logline. B: If something important happens in the last ten minutes of the story, don't add it to the logline Or to put it this way: A: If what 'foRead more
You shouldn’t give away the ending or a ‘big reveal’ in a logline.
A: If something important happens in the first ten minutes of the story, add it to the logline. B: If something important happens in the last ten minutes of the story, don’t add it to the logline
Or to put it this way: A: If what ‘forced’ your lead character to return home sets the story in motion, then add it.
B: If what ‘forced’ you lead characters to return home is a ‘big reveal’ not told to the audience till the end of the story, then don’t add ‘being forced’ to the logline, just say they returned home after their mother’s death
I definitely like the premise. ---- "When his daughter is spirited away by Peter Pan, Captain Hook is forced to return to Neverland in order to rescue his daughter all while confronting the demons of his past." ----- Or maybe it's his son who is kidnapped since the story will involve the lost boys.
I definitely like the premise. —- “When his daughter is spirited away by Peter Pan, Captain Hook is forced to return to Neverland in order to rescue his daughter all while confronting the demons of his past.” —– Or maybe it’s his son who is kidnapped since the story will involve the lost boys.
After accidentally leaving an engagement ring inside the commuter train, a handsome young man must catch the train before it reaches San Jose.
Richiev
I am assuming there is an 'or else' Is it lose the ring or lose the girl ------------------- "After leaving a family heirloom wedding ring on a commuter train, a desperate groom must catch the train before it reaches San Jose or lose the wedding band forever."
I am assuming there is an ‘or else’
Is it lose the ring
or lose the girl
——————-
“After leaving a family heirloom wedding ring on a commuter train, a desperate groom must catch the train before it reaches San Jose or lose the wedding band forever.”
See lessAfter a mother mysteriously dies, her two children are forced to go back to their hometown that she fled from. Soon dark, horrendous and other wordly family secrets resurface threatening to consume whats left of the family.
Richiev
You shouldn't give away the ending or a 'big reveal' in a logline. A: If something important happens in the first ten minutes of the story, add it to the logline. B: If something important happens in the last ten minutes of the story, don't add it to the logline Or to put it this way: A: If what 'foRead more
You shouldn’t give away the ending or a ‘big reveal’ in a logline.
A: If something important happens in the first ten minutes of the story, add it to the logline.
B: If something important happens in the last ten minutes of the story, don’t add it to the logline
Or to put it this way:
A: If what ‘forced’ your lead character to return home sets the story in motion, then add it.
B: If what ‘forced’ you lead characters to return home is a ‘big reveal’ not told to the audience till the end of the story, then don’t add ‘being forced’ to the logline, just say they returned home after their mother’s death
Hope that helped.
See lessMisopedist Captain James Hook must confront his tortured past when he is forced to rescue a group of children held hostage by the demon boy, Peter Pan.
Richiev
I definitely like the premise. ---- "When his daughter is spirited away by Peter Pan, Captain Hook is forced to return to Neverland in order to rescue his daughter all while confronting the demons of his past." ----- Or maybe it's his son who is kidnapped since the story will involve the lost boys.
I definitely like the premise.
See less—-
“When his daughter is spirited away by Peter Pan, Captain Hook is forced to return to Neverland in order to rescue his daughter all while confronting the demons of his past.”
—–
Or maybe it’s his son who is kidnapped since the story will involve the lost boys.